Monday, January 27, 2014


If this morning's news is to be believed Grammies are getting the much needed praise they have long deserved. 

Oh, My. It's nice to have admirers other than our stalker Earl back there.
*My Granny Shorter and I think her sister

I'm hearing about their fabulous red carpets.

We've been vacuuming for decades, it's about time someone noticed.

And bold fashion sense

An award for best wrapper? Well, I've had years of practice on gifts for the grandkids.
*My Aunt Oleeva, kind of our family granny after the real ones were gone 

Attention Madonna: THIS is how you rock a big hat.
*My Granny Shorter early in her marriage

About how they have made history 

I was country when country was all there was!
*My Granny Maggie as a Bachelor Girl before she married my grandpa

And how they are fun, young, the best of the best! 

Dear So called trendsetters: You didn't event having a good time. It's been in our family tree for generations.
*My beloved Mama just being herself!

All I can say is FINALLY! Grammies have long been all these things and more and it's about time our culture rewarded and recognized our grandmothers for all they contribute to... WHAT? Just another flashy award show? UGH.

They need MORE limelight? The things some people do to get a little attention.
*My Aunt Ruth, who grandma'ed me when she moved back to our town and her daughter had gone to college

I stand by my idea - sending my love to all Grannies, Nanas, MeMaws,Grandmothers and Grammies out there. You earned our respect the hard way, by putting up with US!  

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Oh the weather outside is...

5 in of snow and wind chill below zero! It's def for the birds!

But the fire is so...

It's too cozy in our house to take down the Christmas tree so we put vintage valentines and pink monkeys and a vintage wedding cake topper and pink sparkly tinsel rope (which I just happened to have around) and had a Valentine's Tree!

And since we've no place to go...

Really, it has to be a day when the cat won't run outside for me to get sock monkey a hat on her! Total hat rejection in 5...4...3...2...

Because modern technology makes it so I can do my job from home, I'm staying in! Stay warm and safe, y'all. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


A woman's hair, it's no big deal right?

If your hair is no big deal, then clearly you aren't doing it right.
A bad hair cut now and then is just a part of life.

Clearly, you've had one before and lived to B*!ch about it.

I suffered in silence with a bad cut all through the holidays.

"I DO wish she'd stop greeting everyone with 'Happy Hair-do-Days? Not for me!'"
So finally decided to go to a new place and get a new do for the new year.
It came well recommended (which later turned into, oh, yeah, I don't think of the girls who did my hair are still there). At first glance, every stylist's hair was bad. Not weird or wacky. I like weird and wacky. I like people who dare with their hair.

A long standing tradition in the women in my family.
But in truth, a lot of really good stylists have bad hair. So I sat down in the chair, showed them a picture of Emma Thompson and shut my eyes.
The Result?

Emma, I ain't. But then, I wasn't working with the same set of tools to as her to begin with.

Don't hate it, don't love, love, love, love it. Which, in the long, sometimes antagonistic, sometimes almost accepting, always contentious  relationship with my hair, isn't bad at all.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Writer's Bark!

Dear Helen Hartman,
I recently recommitted myself to blog more but now I can't think of a thing to write about. I'd love to know where you get your ideas so I can get some and get this done.

Donut: Every time my muse shows up, I bark at it and chase it away.
Bacon: I hear that's why Snoopy never finished his novel.

Dear Helen Hartman - yes, I KNOW you wrote this letter to yourself, you can't fool me - one,
Leave me alone. Honestly, your constant whining about the things you are supposed to be doing is messing with my time spent doing important things, constructive things. Like Playing with paperdolls. 

I have no idea what I am going to do with these but it was so sweet opening them up on Christmas morning!

Trying to start new fashion trends. 

80s style silk bow ties are on the comeback, right? They are if Helen says they are!

Is that a pickle on your head or are you gherkin to see me?

and trying to buy all the coolest vintage stuff in the world before anyone else gets it.

Fiesta stacking bowl - $10!

 You want to know where I get my ideas? Well, clearly, not from some inner well of wit and wisdom. So stop over-thinking it and making it into a problem and just do SOMETHING!  
This, btw, is the same advice I want to give people over and over every day: Stop dwelling, start DOING!

If it's not your best, then improve it or redo it or try something else or change your name and move to Omaha. Just STOP WHINING!

Next time on Dear Helen Hartman: Welcome to Exciting Omaha! 

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Time to Retire?

I came here today to announce Helen's retirement. 

Wouldn't you actually have to DO something to retire from it?

Then in checking stats I see people still stop by every day and am having second thoughts about this thing.

Wouldn't you have had to put SOME thought into a thing before you had SECOND thoughts about it?

The new year is a good time to re-evaluate. To make decisions about where to put your time and energy in the future. Frankly, this past year I've felt like I have had very little time and what I've had I've not used wisely.

In hindsight the two months making clothes to dress like my favorite veggies might have been spent doing something a bit more constructive. I mean, I entirely overlooked fruits and legumes!

Originally, I'd hoped to make Dear Helen Hartman a rotating part of my professional blog.

Don't you mean your IMAGINARY professional blog?

So now that I see people still do peek in on me...

Arrrgh! My eyes! My eyes!
Come back, Anita, I told you not to peek in on Helen!
I am again thinking of blogging on and getting back to reading blogs again. (How I've missed my 'regular' blog stops!) 
Will try for once a week but realistically it may only be a couple of times a month.

Your lack of any response leads me to believe you really, really, want me to fill the silence with another encore!

So, I promise to add this to my list of New Years Goals. Helen will be tackling issues a couple times a month. I think.  I hope. 

Happy 2014!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

It's WHEN???

OCTOBER?  You mean the time I said I'd be back blogging?

Not to worry, Loved Ones, I have a brilliant excuse. 

I thought I was adding flavoring to my coffee. Meanwhile they days went by so pleasantly!

Okay, mostly, all the things that made me take a break kept making me put the brakes on blogging.  But since I was last here I have finished a book!

Started a novella

By 'started' I mean I came up with funny titles for each chapter... can I leave the rest as a fill in the blank write your own story kind of thing?

Been keeping busy on Facebook

Got all new appliances in  my kitchen

I WISH! One day will people look back and laugh at how all appliances in the 2000s were boring old stainless steel color?

Bought lots of junk

$8  for the dotted grease jar with lid! 

Had major computer issues 

It took a team of techs a week to get it squared away! Then they double charged me and am still haggling about that!

Also I injured my knee, haven't moved around as well and gained weight.

Yes, I would... if I wore it as a hat! 

So don't think I was goofing off!

Hoping things will be settled down now that most of this is behind me and I can get back into the blogosphere. Will be making an effort to catch up reading this week!

Monday, August 26, 2013

Helen has been AWOL!!!

Yep, I admit it, Loved Ones, Helen has been AWOL - Absent While On Line!

I've been having great fun over at Facebook, but also still on deadlines, still writing a new book, and becoming a publisher/cover artist/PR pro for some backlist books. Oh, and working full time and sometimes trying to have a life! I've come to a decision that it's all just gotten out of balance!

Oh, stop whining, I'm doing the same thing you are but in a pencil skirt and heels. 

Yes, I thought I could do it all (though my pencil skirt is more like a Fatso Marker skirt). Anywho, the biggest push of my fall deadlines are ahead of me. 

PUSH? FALL? DEADline? Think, man, think, there has got to be a pun in there somewhere! 

So I think it's the right thing to do to just state the obvious. Helen is going to be in blogging limbo until October when I hope to launch a new look in the blog (which I haven't been happy with for a while but the more I mess with it, the worse it seems to get!)

Oh, so that's what happened to your hair!

You can keep in touch with me here:

Or follow me @TheDailyHelen

These are basically the same thing so don't bother with both, btw.
 Until October - here are some samples of Helen on facebook!


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