Sunday, June 5, 2011

My New Estate of Mind

Dear Helen Hartman
          My husband laid down the law – he said not to bring another thing into this house until I threw something out. I started with his golf clubs. For some reason this didn’t resolve the issue.
                Love the man, hate the mandates!

Dear Loves-him-but-will-miss-him-One,
        On one hand, Helen has sympathy for the love of most things vintage and bargainy and fabulous. On the other hand? Helen has just snapped on her favorite pink rubber work gloves because its time to clean house!  
 No, not literally! You didnt actually think Helen was going to mop and sweep and scrub, did you? Thats so cute. You still believe in Santa, dont you? Well, then it's about time you knew...
 


Yes, its harsh but thats the vintage truth of it all. Santa used to hawk ciggies as a treat.  And he delivered live sad-eyed puppies all the way from his puppy mill at the North Pole and apparently peeped in your window when he did. Bad, Santa! Bad! 


 
 Not all things past belong in your homes, Loved Ones. Though Helen has enjoyed your blogs and she actually thinks some your things belong in HER home (I'll make a list and get back to you on those, Santa, I mean since you're lurking around houses anyway). 
Here's the lesson I am resolved to take to heart after my time serving as your eyes in homes of the elegant hoarders. 
If you DON'T love something, let it go. 
           You might say its a whole new Estate of Mind! 
That doesnt mean dont shop. How could I have left any of this behind?
With a little touch up these will hang on my bedroom wall, though if these heavy plaster projectiles fall, you may be attending an estate sale at Helen's house.
Kitchen Kitsch - wax paper/foil holder to hang on wall, the contact paper is gold flecked, btw.
Hoarder 2 had boxes stacked knee high of hats, all in their boxes - this one with a bill for $11.62, I paid half that.

From the closet of the lady of the high holy hair... scarves crafted to protect the most stately of hair structures.
At home already on our deck.
Cookbooks, each more awful than the last.
So a truck load of trash and charity items went out to make room - because I NEVER want to have to walk away from a find like this:  
 My son told me it was one of the dumbest things Id ever brought home (he did not see the irony of saying that to the woman who brought home HIM, a child who would say THAT to her face). He just didn't 'get' it. Maybe he'd never seen this ad that promised: 
You'll know it the instant your fingers touch the keys... 
    Her fingers trembled. Her pulse quickened, electrified with the thrill of pure anticipation. She reached out, tentatively at first and then... she touched the keys and she knew her life would never be the same. From now on her boss would have her typing everything, even his laundry list, the big dope.
Also from the ad, the assurance: how much fresher and less fatigued you'll feel at the end of the day! (Less fatigued, okay,  but FRESHER? What? It sends out a cloud of body spray when you hit the return?) 
Anyway, my son thought the thing in it's big old case and with its knobs and buttons and levers was a terrific waste of space.
Then we plugged it in and turned it on.
 It hummed to life. We rolled in a piece of paper. He put his fingers that have never known anything but a computer keyboard on the keys and typed. Heavy, clacky, reverberating typing. Like your very words had extra weight for having been imprinted on the page one letter at a time.
He was in love. 
Even hubby embraced the beauty of this little baby when he learned the price.   $5.
Its hard not to make room in your home and your heart for a gem like that and the hubby aint all bad either.  I think I'll keep them both. Now I suddenly want to find a Geritol ad... what will I ever throw out to make room for that?

Joining: Collection Share at Apron Thrift Girl 
Blue Monday with Smiling Sallie

23 comments:

  1. Should I feel old because I learned to type (and later taught typing in high school) pre-electric typewriter days? Eeek! I'm just slightly younger than stone and chisel, I think.

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  2. The typewriter is cool. I'd like to find non electric one on myself. And, I like those cookbooks for the old recipes but to tell ya the truth...I can get all the recipes from the internet so they are really just for nostalgia. And then I must say I dig those hats. But storage is at a premium here so I have to pass on the hats.~Ames

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  3. Oh jeaz I love those plaster plaques, dear gosh they are gorgeous.

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  4. You never disappoint. I was going to go to bed early tonight to make up for some really late nights this weekend. I'm glad I snuck in one more favorite blog. That typewriter ROCKS.

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  5. I have never read an obituary that admitted one died as a result of plaster objects falling from the wall above the bed. A well kept actuarial secret.

    Wait until you explain to your son that typewriter ribbons need to be reinked. See how much he loves that assignment.

    The question is, did you find your treasures by walking into the charity shop AFTER you made your donation? That is the fatal flaw in the decluttering myth.

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  6. Hello Helen:
    As we read only so very recently, one man's [in your case woman's] trash is another's treasure. The problem arises, of course, in sorting one from the other!

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  7. mmmmmmmmm Kitchen kitsch, are you sure those shouldnt be rehomed with me? Scarlett x

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  8. Left those plaques the first time at the sale, they were just too heavy to haul away. Then when they were still there the next week... they were meant to be mine and got them all for $6!

    Dogsmom - thanks for having me laughing away my fears! Though now I am inspired to write a collection to expose the danger of loving vintage too much: Killed by Kiitsch.

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  9. According to my hubby, Jane and Lance, it was all trash until we bought a vintage table for 99$ that was then valued at over 2,000$.

    Scarlett - they are feeling quite at home here but if they ever express the desire to travel...

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  10. Men, what do they understand about the need for clutter? I bought a vintage typewriter the other day, too. Absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with it but it does look cute. xxx

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  11. Thanks. You made me laugh, Helen. (My husband golfs.)

    Happy Blue Monday!

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  12. Hooray, a typewriter! Of course I love it! You always find the coolest stuff.

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  13. What great finds! I love the kitchen scale and the typewriter. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  14. Love the typewriter...I learned to type on an old IBM Selectric....long before keyboarding! Oh, the pink appliances from your previous post...never knew they came in pink....your secret escapade was too funny!!!

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  15. Well--I learned to tpye in highschool on a standard typewriter, got pretty fast at it actually (it took lots of MUSCLE). Your typewriter is pretty cool-sorry son. I hit the estate sales this weekend--one house was exceptional=-will post on Vintage Thingie Thursdy. Love your humor!!!!!

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  16. Sherry - have an ad showing all the colors refrigerators came in -will share sometime- oh to have that selection these days!

    Ann - cannot wait to see what treasures you uncovered!
    thanks all for stopping by.

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  18. I bought an IBM Selectric at a warehouse clearout. It's down in the basement in all it's glory.

    Am I the only one who remember the IBM Mag Card? The first word processor!

    But hey, I learnt to type on an Olympia manual typewriter, used WANG WP, IBM Displaywrite (I loved that programme) and miss them all.

    I'm sad, my kids tell me.

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  19. We had a gray Smith Corona typewriter in a houndstooth case when I was a kid. Used to just love to push the buttons and hit the return to make it ding.

    On my first job we used to sneak in early and type things on the keyboards of the office typewriters so when they were turned on they'd type out the message. Can't do that with a computer!

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  20. You are one funny lady. I've just found your blog for the first time, hello! Kellie xx

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  21. Kellie - visited your blog too and it's so charming. Thanks for visiting.

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  22. I've just started following you...I like your blog. great style.

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  23. You are quite the word wrangler, Helen. Enjoyed reading your post... the typewriter is fantastic!

    Thanks for stopping by my little web space.

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