Friday, August 19, 2011

Saturday Night Fever a Day Early?

Dear Helen Hartman,
          It’s happened AGAIN! The weatherman promised that this morning we’d finally wake up in the 70s.  Wrong!
          Love some ideas for getting revenge on that uncool weather guy

Dear Loved One,
   Why the fuss? Helen lived thru the 70s, it wasn’t that great. You think it was all women’s lib, mind blowing revelations and psychedelic flower power trips?
There were also plenty of mind-numbing realities and psychedelic flower power chores that needed to be done.

Happy Home Ironing Board. She looks happy doesn't she? Doesn't she? Happy, happy... Oh, forget it, honey, fill that steam iron with rum and hot toddy mixin's and de-crease your stress instead!
The clothes were made of polyester. 

Popular in the 70s- a tv show called the Flying Nun.  Less Popular - a fashion trend called the Sewing Nun
 The ads were made of nonsense.

Farewell, ugly smokes, hello pretty pretty lung disease!

And the food…. Who knows WHAT that was made of!
Chocolate flavored sticks - sounds like something my tacky neighbor Teresa would toss into her kid's lunch pails and tell them it was good for them cuz it's 'astronaut food'. Hello! Teresa? The astronauts are all gone now but bits of that stuff is still floating around in space where they spit it out when Mission Control wasn't looking! 
 Apparently there was also Jell-O. Lots and Lots of Jello. According to The NEW Joys of Jell-O (a gift from cousin Patje) Jell-O was EVERYWHERE!
May our love be as sweet and last as long as these molded globs of delicious gelatinous goo.
 Patje suggests the groom may be thinking: "Oh, look, darling, someone has brought us Jell-O in the shape of a football! Our wedding joy is now complete!" 
Helen cannot help giving you a glimpse of the effort and ingredients involved in constructing the football-o-love.   

Of course it could be worse.

A nifty creation dubbed a Festive Chicken Salad Log from Betty Crocker's Hors D'Oeuvres and Party Snacks. Oh, Betty, I thought we knew you but now... what's next we learn you aren't even an actual person?
Just thinking back on all this conjures up the perfect revenge -

New Joys of Jell-O - 'Salads That Slim'  - presumably because you can't keep them down. Or perhaps they are made of plastic and you just look at them... then you can't keep ANYTHING down. Ahh, slimming the 70s way!
Let’s just have a 70s party!

You've got the nut dish (you have to supply the assorted nuts, if you need those, invite Teresa and her family!). You've got the recipes - Betty Crocker's big book of betrayal to all things good to eat, um, I mean, snacks and a super kicky recipe box. For entertainment - a 70s party game called Funny Bones, loads of fun but watch out not to ding your white girl's afro!
Beverage cart all set? A mix of old and new, divine Pyrex cups with carafe from Kroger and tray from Target!
Helen is all set for an intimate gathering - Intimate is Helen speak for - scram, you're not invited. I love you all but there is only so much wine and it's all mine. So there you go, a way to have your 70s and eat them too! 
More Mod black and white dinnerware from Kroger, tray and bowl from Target, book from thrift shop, wine bucket (not) from estate sale. Bring on the Jell-O and Space sticks - let's get this party started!


  1. I'm on my way over!

    Have a beautiful weekend ~
    TTFN ~

  2. Well, that cheese log looks... different. Lovin' your cute Pyrex cups though and don't hurt yourself getting into your hip hugger bell bottoms:@)

  3. Hello Helen:
    we have always been totally convinced that the 1970s held nothing for the stylish man or woman about town or country and now, after reading this post, we are beyond totally convinced.

    Prawn cocktails, Chicken Kiev and Black forest easily the cheese log would have slipped in alongside these other goodies. And, all to be enjoyed whilst trying to dance around in platform shoes to the dulcet tones of Abba. Please, may we come to the party!!!???

  4. Groovy post, Ms. Hartman! For gosh sakes, don't forget to wear your mood ring and huge hoop earrings while you're partying!

  5. I'd forgotten how it was only the music and clothes of the 1970's that I liked. No wonder I was such a skinny child. x

  6. Happy Weekend to you too, Marydon!

    HIP HUGGERS? Just let someone try it!

  7. Jane and Lance - Abba is my secret vice. For some it's food, for some it's drink for me? Do you hear the drums Fernando?

  8. Space Sticks! That reminds me, they still sell that "Food For Astronauts", and I keep meaning to get some lol. Just as a addition to my vintage space theme room.

    Thanks to my fellow bloggers, I have learned to appreciate the 70's stuff more. I couldn't like the "junk I had when I was younger" until I got older heh heh..

  9. Ha! I love this post! (and your new header) I lived through the 70's too. This post was a lot more fun than living through the 70's.

  10. There are some fun things that survived that decade, present company included!

    Thanks Eartha (I love your name)

  11. I love your new banner. The chicken log, not so much.

  12. Hey I have that book and that Treasure Craft shell thingy! You are too funny!! I love your humor!

  13. Thanks Dana!

    ZootSuitMama - just proves that great taste knows no time or distance.

  14. Well first of all thanks for coming to visit me on Pink Saturday. I am so glad you did. Second, what a cute and creative blog you have. I am so glad I found it. I hope to come back soon and often and I hope to see you more as well. Have a Pink Day, Weekend. Richard from My Old Historic House

  15. First of all, thank you so much for stopping by. I always get a laugh when I stop on over. You sound so much like me. I hate being the stereotypical wife and mother...... so I am not. I think outside of the box, and have fun doing so. I have a dear Helen for you. As you know, my house is on the market, it is a traditional home...furnished with an eclectic mix of "finds" and real antiques. The kitchen was done in a retro fashion the old formica table and chairs etc. It was fabulous. The broker made me change it out to boring white/pine table and windsor chairs and black and while toile curtains. Boring. So I had to give up my kitchen to appeal to the general folks..... what would Dear Helen have done? Thanks.

  16. Dear Helen, Thanks for stopping by my blog - this is my first visit to yours. I laughed out loud through the entire post! I love your humor and being a survivor of the 70s, I really "get" it. LOL! I will definitely be back in the future. Have a wonderful Pink Sat.


  17. Thanks Richard!

    Sherrie - will mull that over - have moved 13 times in married life and 7 times as an Air Force Brat so off to find some thoughts and will answer soon.

    Welcome Tricia!

  18. The Space Food Sticks have truly challenged my imagination.

  19. I lived through the 70's and yes, there's nothing quite like a polyester double-knit pant suit on the dance floor in June!

    PS - I think the bridegroom in the Jello ad is saying "You feed me this sh-- after today and I'll be out of here faster than you can say "Ga-bork-nek! (Do you remember that commercial?)

  20. omg how we've missed you!! and for your information FUNNY BONES was the coolest game EVER.....we always made our uncles play it with us during family holidays....hmmmmm....maybe that's why it went missing :)
    We've got to run....and make a jello salad so it will set up for breakfast in the morning!!

  21. Olga - my mom indulged us with a box once. ONCE. They were like eating chocolate-ish flavored clay.

    LOL Sandy.

  22. No one has to sell me on Funny Bones -every time I see a box while thrifting, I buy it and give it to someone. We play it at big family gatherings and parties. The little ones demand it!

  23. This blog looks fun,Im a new follower.Cant wait to return again~~Becky

  24. I do remember funny bones as well LOL.

  25. From a crockpot full of weenies in grape jelly, to double/triple knits to avocado and gold appliances---I think of the Seventies as the era of WWWT---WHAT WERE WE THINKING??!!

    Even those nerds of us who never sampled any hallucino/psyche/generic-genics seem to have gone around in some sort of accepting, Jello-laden haze of second-hand smoke and incense.

    The days of shag and Desiderata had VERY little to recommend them, and it's hard to parlay gas prices and Laugh-In into nostalgia.


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