Friday, August 5, 2011


Dear Helen Hartman, 
I am sick and tired of serving the same old food to my family day after day. 
           Love an idea for something unusual for the weekend.
Dear Loved One,
      You do remember that Helen has at her fingertips a collection of some of the most unspeakable recipes known to housewife-kind and she is not afraid to use them (and by use them I mean show you the photographs in order to make you stop asking Helen cooking advice), right? I am not foolin' around here. Some of these things are... well, take a look -
Helen would love to share the recipe for whatever unholy concoction you are looking at here but of the whole magazine there is only ONE thing missing.  A rectangle from the heart of this article explaining, or trying to explain, what this is and how to reproduce it. Isn't it enough just to look at it Loved Ones? If that doesn't make you lose your appetite, what else could?

Yes, that could do it.

Or this:
Look what you did, you made Helen get out the Salmon Banana Salad.  Now go wash your mind out with chocolate. Helen is going to lie down and take some medicine.
Take two of these and call a cab in the morning.


  1. Those old pictures and recipes always crack me up! They were so adventurous back then, and although it might be pleasing to the eye, I can't imagine any of it ever tasted good. Bananas and salmon should never, EVER be on the same plate at the same time!

  2. Oh, really got out the big gun when you pulled the salmon and banana picture.

  3. LOL!! What a fun site you have! I love the old photos/recipes.

    Happy Pink Saturday!


  4. Pleeeeze come to Colorado and share your humor here!
    Happy Pink Saturday!

  5. Happy Pink Saturday Helen Sweetie...
    To heck with Colorado Holly, we need her here in the desert of Phoenix. Pleeezzz come out here Helen. I love your humor and it is always so delightful to come and see you.

    I promise to be good from now on. Please don't pull out the salmon banana salad again. That does SO NOT look appetizing.

    Hope you are having a wonderful weekend sweet friend. As always I love seeing what you are up to. Many hugs and much love from Phoenix, Sherry

  6. *MmM Spanish green Olives* THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS! =D
    *Coming from an olive obsessed woman*

  7. I get the message loud and clear...Don't ask Helen for recipes...LOL That salmon and banana did it....

  8. Hello Helen:
    And we are trying to eat our breakfast here!

  9. Salmon Banana Salad... that's just wrong. Happy Weekend:@)

  10. Ok. I'm putting away my breakfast bananas. I just can't go there after seeing the salmon and banana salad. That's just wrong on so many levels...hee hee.

  11. love the old pictures! Happy pink Saturday!!!

  12. What? No jello mold with grapes inside with a bed of macaroni in the center? hahaha they sure tried to make people buy and eat some strange stuff back in the day lol...

  13. What was the deal with the food combos of the 50s and 60s? Sorry I had to go there with the salmon but its best you all know now what lengths I'll go to to get out of cooking (as a young bride I used to set the ingredients for tuna casserole on the counter when I wanted my hubby to take me out - it worked almost every time)

  14. I've been making fig preserves and preserved figs and zucchini bread with visiting friends half the day, and you pull out the salmon/banana card?? Do you have ANY idea of my fragile state at this moment, Young Lady?

    I'm so tired I googled pork chops and bananas, not even MENTIONING the little citrus sombreros, and do you KNOW how many recipes for THAT there are? Oh. My.

    I can't stand liquor, but could I prevail on you to have a little snort for me?


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