Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Gimme a Little Sugar....



Loved Ones - what DAY is it? Is IS day, right? 


Well, maybe by the time I get this done, it won't be! Head hurts, eyes bleary, nerves on edge.

...take off that silly hat and get relief instantly!

That's the kind of day it's been - and I don't even 
have a hang over to blame it on! Honest. I was at the flea market this weekend... and I can prove it, see what great finds I found!

A hand made bracelet, not old just cute. Plus a stash of pins, for a dollar a piece Yes, I DID need another typewriter pin. No, you cannot borrow any of this, Teresa (my nosy neighbor and well known local tramp) I don't want kooties all over my new treasures.



Ford Times, 1960s - sassy, artsy, tipsy... um filled with tips that is. Can't wait to share.
Lots of new informative material including a brush catalog, and a pamphlet that confirms what we all know, women are the source of all troubles and you'd better be insured against their nonsense!



Of course, when I wasn't shopping I was eating. Oh. Suddenly the not sleeping well and the general malaise makes sense. I need more sugar!
 
Luckily I found this at the flea market too!

No, you did not misread that. You can go on a sugar-based diet and slenderize your worries away! I am an actual picture of a doctor as portrayed in the booklet so you know you can  trust the information within.  


That's right, boys and girls, Sugar. Why didn't anyone think of this before? So easy to use - just put some in your coffee. Put some in your tea.


Me? I just have it piping hot by the cupful! Are those bags under my eyes from lack of sleep? NO, of course not. I like to think of them as bags of energy!


Sugar adds flavor to everything you eat.

No, ladies, do not put sugar on your salad... save that for your salad dressing!

 Or better yet, try wearing salad on your head and ordering something out - like a nice, slimming meal.
Hmmm, I think I'll have the classic diet plate, greasy hamburger, cling peaches soaked in sugary syrup and cottage cheese... with sugar on it! I feel the pounds melting away! (You don't think that's because of all the shaking I'm experiencing lately, do you?)

I think if Helen follows the simple guidelines in the booklet (which actually includes an advisory NOT to exercise because that might build unwanted MUSCLES)

Grandma: Don't move around so, child, you might develop some muscle tone.                                                                            Sally: Eeuww, muscles are icky, aren't they Mummy?                Mummy: Yes, dear. Muscles are for rough, outdoorsy men like that brooding brute of a pool boy, Ramone.(sighs) Now stand there and look pretty, Mummy suddenly feels like going for a swim.         

She'll feel like her old self in no time. 

Who ARE you people at my table and why are you giving off that glow? Adds a whole new twist to nuclear family, doesn't it?

Cooking, cleaning, being a darling Mama to her family and... oh, come on, with enough sugar, it COULD happen!

joining Share the Love Wednesday at Very Merry Vintage Style

12 comments:

  1. See, now that's just perfect-the sugar diet! I do hope you take a pic of each page and share it with your friends:@)

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  2. Hello Helen:
    Do let us introduce you to a traditional, and in our view particularly unpleasant, Hungarian dish, Poppy Seed Pasta, which consists of large quantities of cooked pasta into which poppy seed is mixed [somehow] and the whole garnished with copious amounts of sugar, the equivalent of Cuba's entire annual export. Dry as desert dust but, of course, delicious, and we are sure quite suitable for those wishing to reduce weight.

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  3. Who wouldn't trust a doctor who looked as sincere as that gentleman? Priceless! x

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  4. I'll be chuckling about the nuclear family for the rest of the day.

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  5. Jane and Lance - well, I do like pasta and love poppy seed dressing and sugar IS slimming - perfect! In the American South, people tend to put sugar in everything. My mother's rule was - salt in sweet things, sugar in everything else to bring out the flavor.

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  6. Thanks Vix and Dana - these were very small illustrations in the corners that seemed to have little connection to the "diet"

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  7. Sweets to the sweet!!

    You have NO idea how many of these snips and slips I clipped from the "teen" magazines---I guess we were just little slimmin'-slaves in training. Those line-drawings with the perfect waists and smooth skirt lines sent us all into a hopeful frenzy of being Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden.

    Raising a Cousin Georgie was the bane of my Mother's life, but I did OK. Now I'm just COMFORTABLE.

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  8. What a fun read, and thank you for the diet tip...if I drink plenty of sugar by vacation I may be in that bikini yet.....
    You have some wonderful finds there.
    Hugs,
    Ellen

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  9. Ohgod, my head just hit the keyboard & I died laughing!!! Mom actually would NOT let me take ballet lessons because it would make me have muscular calves!!! The sugar diet book is to die for - literally, but right up my alley! GREAT blog - thanks for the chuckles (I mean sugar-belly laughs!)

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  10. Thanks Ellen - good luck with the sugar diet bikini plans. The only two piece in my future is a chicken dinner.

    Thanks 'Curlers" LOVE your aunts shoes showcased in your blog today.

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  11. Hi Helen, thank you for stopping by my blog with your kind words. I just had to respond to the doll.....I have a niece and a cousin when they come to visit, dolls need to be put away, espcecially in a room where they sleep. So I can understand how it can creep you out. I think my niece's fear comes from christmas one year when they opened her doll and the head fell off, it was a crawling doll and her brother had a ball with a headless doll crawling around....boyz
    Hugs,
    Ellen

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