Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Running on Empty?

Dear Helen Hartman,
    If my life lately were a car the fuel gauge would be on a big ol' “E”.  I’m not unhappy, just feeling like all my energy has been drained away. Does this ever happen to you and if so I’d Love to know how you get gassed up again.

Dear Loved--

Really? You actually asked Helen how she gets gassed?

Remember the good ol' days when gas was just something we put in our cars, not something we took a pill to prevent?


Is it because of that ugly after dinner thing? I swear it was the soda pop talking! 

"Hey Look, Dad, Here's my imitation of what Mom does all day, only not with 7-up if you know what I mean."


Okay. Okay. I know what you mean, Loved One and it’s a valid question. How do you refill the well of your well-being? 
Helen is struggling with this as work and a new in
law situation is consuming all her sweet nature and goodwill.

Is the answer... if the question is: If you don't stop bothering me in here, will I hold your head under water until you pass out?
 (Let’s be honest, there was that much of either to begin with!)

So how does one deal with it? Well one might suggest exercise and eating right.

If you are what you eat then I'm a like the lemon in my drinks: tart with a mean twist.

But surely there are some quick tricks for revving up one’s engine.

Or maybe I should say Red-ing up one’s engine. Helen finds color helps.
Especially if it’s on something you truly, deeply, fanatically love to shop for!

Post Cover 1959  - 'nuff said

No matter how I tried I couldn't get the lettering to show well on this - the style is awesome, Maid of Honor Timer by Sears, Roebuck and company. It's heavy as a rock and worked like a charm (and I mean as a timer, not as a rock, as in to smack someone upside the head, though the tiny crack in the rim makes one wonder)

Helen adores pink. She finds yellow makes her smile (so you can understand yellow is not her favorite color). Aqua makes her feel smart and sassy but Red? Red is definitely the go to power color.

Dear Diary, today I got my hair done, hung my enormous medal for excellence in homemaking behind my bed and came one step closer to world domination. It was a good day.

Beyond brightening the world around you (something Helen does wherever she goes, of course!)   
Just another typical day for Helen. One day I hope to take a walk without inciting a thrilling dance number by total strangers.
...right before your eyes, think about livening things up for your ears.

Helen plugs in some music and goes.

No, No, Cissy. I said the choir was going to sing Poker Face by Lady Ga Ga, not Baby Face with Lacy's Nana.
  
So Helen wishes you the best of luck with… what? 
You don’t believe that Helen simply uses color and music to give herself a ‘kick’? You suspect there is something else that she does to inject some energy into her engine? All right. Yes. You’re right. Helen really does do something else.

She quietly plots revenge.
Oh, Ya, Judy. There sure Is enough room in this here new 'fridge for all my food AND a few leftover body parts, as well!
You think Helen's kidding? The best way to find out is to cross her. I don’t suggest it or the next ticking you hear might not be the Maid of Honor Timer.

27 comments:

  1. Happy Rednesday! That timer is just swell. So is this witty post.

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  2. Nice learning so many different ways to get started each day. I need all the help I can get. I am thankful if I get out of bed.

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  3. Thanks Kim - it was a bit more than I would normally spend but it is super. Happy Rednesday!

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  4. Hello Helen:
    We always suspected that there was a scarlet siren in you just waiting for any opportunity to go full throttle. Cross you...never...we hang on your every word. We are afraid that the timer could do serious damage and not show any traces!!!

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  5. I hear ya LV!

    Welcome back to the blogosphere Jane and Lance. That timer, well aimed, could do some harm.

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  6. You are one on your own! I love your posts! x

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  7. You always find the best images - love it! Scarlett x

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  8. The timer is fabulous!
    And I just realized that is something vintage I do not have.. A timer.. OFF TO E-BAY! LOL

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  9. I need to find the needle and thread to repair the gut I busted from laughing!!! Hilarious!

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  10. No crossing Helen. Got it. I wonder if she can be bribed with chocolate?

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  11. Coconut - a wanring. When you get one no one who walks by it will be able to resist giving it a turn so be sure the first thing you learn is how to turn it OFF!

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  12. Alycia - thanks and good luck with that sewing project, I am no help there!

    and Karen, Helen can always be bribed!

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  13. Yeah...I hear ya. Mob flash dancers appear when I go out too!
    I'm thinking the timer is to let you know when to sling it...maybe?
    Deb
    P.S. Thanks for dropping in and my secret to a happy start is when I get outta bed...my feet hit the floor first instead of my boobs. I dread the day it's the other way around, but there's always lemontinis to remedy any situation.

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  14. The timer is great. And I think someone should give me one of those big medals, just to be nice, even though I'm not that good at anything. I'm just sayin'...

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  15. I wonder where I can get one of the enormous medals of excellence in homemaking! heeheehee! Love this post! You always amaze me, my friend! ♥

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  16. Dana and Lavender - we all deserve a big medal to hang up to prove to everyone that we are women not to be messed with!

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  17. I really, really want to see that dance number!

    I also want you to email me, 'cause I have a vintage purse question for YOU. momwaldsplace@gmail.com

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  18. I'll email ya Mom Walds - not sure I know what you need to know but also you can always contact me at Dearhelenhartman@gmail.com

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  19. I enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for visiting my blog. It is very nice to meet you :)

    xoxo
    Myric

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  20. Love your vintage photos, fun to see them. Thanks for sharing, Laura Cottage and Broome

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  21. Welcome back! Your vintage photos and words make me smile!

    Thank you for linking this fun post to Potpourri Friday! Your participation is appreciated!

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  22. Thanks for stopping by y'all - I loved your blogs and am happy to see you here.

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  23. Fun post and a cheerful little red timer. Love all the vintage photos.

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  24. Oh my goodness! I just can't stop reading your posts! How I needed a few laughs on this Monday and you've given me that and more!! Following you fo' sho'

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  25. Hi there, what a cute post. It was fun. Thanks for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris

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