Friday, December 9, 2011

I'll Clean House for Christmas...

Dear Helen Hartman –
Christmas is kicking my butt! Or maybe it’s real life. I’m not sure anymore. I just know that you seem to be a committed homemaker. Love to hear your tips on keeping up with the housework this time of year.

Dear Loved One
In the first place I do not think Christmas would do any such thing! Real life on the other hand? It DOES often have a real kick to it. Also, for future reference, Helen tends to shy away from suggestions she is (or should be) committed. As for keeping up with housework…you could do as Helen does:

"Mom, this is fun. Thanks for letting me dress up in your clothes today."  "You're welcome, dear. We'll do it again next time the maid is off and all your regular clothes are dirty."

What? You think there is a better way? Maybe you could ask Santa to help you out.

 Aqua colored trees, a waterfall and deer. It's not an appliance, it's a part of the beauty of nature - and look, Santa is here, too! Why are you grumbling? It is TOO a good gift.

Yes, a vacuum cleaner for Christmas. Sadly, if you are like me, that wouldn’t be the suckiest gift you’ve ever gotten. 

Thank you for the... um...handmade... uh, gift. We'll never forget it. Never.
Of course not every woman wants a Rainbow for Christmas. Some of us are dreaming of other things.

Is that a brand of sewing machine or a commentary on the kind of lame gifts white families give each other? Later, mayo and Wonderbread for a holiday feast!

Actually, I got a sewing machine last year and love it. 

This outfit? Just a little something I whipped... out of my closet. I'd love to do some sewing but then who would hold this cushion down while looking fabulous? You? I think not.

 Okay, okay… I actually dress more like This at Christmas time.

Poodles and pink trees and presents! oh my! What tacky Christmas sweater? This is a tasteful holiday tradition.
I have a philosophy that helps me keep my house in order during the holiday rush – don’t dust it, decorate it!

Leave no surface un-glittered!

It saves you time and doesn’t give anyone in your life the idea that you want household appliances for Christmas!

Harold didn't know it but he was just one more "missed a spot" away from spending the rest of Christmas in the emergency room.


  1. awesome.

    Hearty Pink, come and see when you get a chance.

  2. The white Christmas thing is priceless. Priceless, I tell ya. LOL

  3. too funny...again! You always make me smile.

  4. This year has been the best December in over a decade. Is it the fact that I have a bum leg and hand am being forced to sit and do nothing. NO cleaning for company, NO cooking and freezing for company, NO listening to disco Christmas music at the grocery store stocking up for company.

    Now if only someone would give me a new sewing machine...

  5. Lovin' the pom-poms on your sweater... some how that didn't sound right-Happy Weekend:@)

  6. My mother used to be given appliances for Xmas when I was a kid, she had to grin and bear it for years, poor bugger. I make sure I always giver her jewellery or perfume these days. I reckon if any of your family gave you a vacuum you'd suck them right up with it...and rightly so!!

  7. Thanks chubskullit - always enjoy visiting you back.

    Dana - for one moment I wondered if the white Christmas was too tacky... now I wish I'd made a comment about getting jiggy with that wild man, Perry Como!

  8. Thanks Holly!

    Mom Walds - sorry about the bum leg and hand but not about it helping you enjoy the season. However, you really don't have to suffer the music at the stores, just sing and dance along. It's fun AND people tend to get out of your way.

  9. Pom Poms are a must for Christmas swearters! (mine are more like pom plops these days).

    Kitty - I bet your mother loves the thoughtful gifts you give.

  10. Another fabulous post with amazing ads! I'm all about hiding the dust with holiday decorations.

    Christmas hugs!

  11. Always a smile! Great share.
    Merry Christmas
    TTFN ~

  12. Kim - best time saving plan ever.

    Marydon - thanks!

  13. I love your Christmas sweater! Who cares about the "plops"? I got over it years ago. As for appliances for Christmas gifts - Big Daddy never forgot the bruises & scabs he suffered after DUST BUSTER Christmas :- )

    Happy Holiday's Dear Helen & as always, thanks for the *grins*

    P.S. I post my name now because I got tired of people referring to me as "sponge-stuff" because of my blog title. The whole spongy thing hits too close to home if you know what I mean :- )

  14. House cleaning is not my favorite thing. My house will never be cluttered, but you might see a few dust bunnies. I hate to mop as well.

  15. LOL Vickie - I never know when to use names because some people don't seem to want them out there. Laughing at the Dust Buster Christmas!

    Dust bunnies are some of my best pets!

  16. Just so you know, you are one of the bright spots in my day! So funny. Carry on!

  17. Oh, my have completely lost your mind!!!! I am SICK with laughter over here!!! I am seriously feeling like I'm going to split my side wide open from laughing! You are SO funny! SO funny!!! This is totally one of the funniest things I have ever seen!! You need to be writing for sitcoms! I just don't know what to do with you, woman! I needed this today! Oh, and one last thing: GET HELP!!! :-)

  18. I just shared the link to this post on my Facebook page. I want everyone to know just how much fun you are!!! SO silly!!!

  19. Well at least you didn't get a humongo gigantic box of Kotex like mom did. But she had a good time beatin the snot outta my dad with it. ~Ames

  20. I love your decor! I have been sweeping up glitter for 2 weeks straight! That poodle sweater is fab!

  21. All I want for Xmas is a flight outta here! I love that poodle sweater, it';s the maddest thing I've seen. x

  22. Thanks Lynn - had to look around to find your blog to visit back - glad I did.

  23. Alycia - thanks! and Thanks for sharing on Facebook!

  24. Ames - that's a crazy bad gift. Though one year my hubby took every little thing off my home office desk, wrapped and put it in my stocking, he thought it was funny. It wasn't.

  25. Jori - I bet we're sweeping glitter for months!

    Vix - maybe you can hitch a ride with a flying reindeer? Tis the season.

  26. Hello Helen:
    Well, in our minds, you and glitter are inseparable, heavenly twins perhaps,or at least a marriage made in heaven. Indeed, have you left any surface untouched from its sparkle? We can only imagine what an absolute joy it would be to party at your house!!

  27. I agree Christmas decorations go up and you get a free pass on the dusting:)

    Love that pink poodle sweater - kinda reminds me of the grinch cartoon.



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