Sick? Again?

Dear Helen Hartman,

Lately it seems like everyone I know is sick. Love to know how to deal with all these sickos around me.

Dear Loved One,

The answer is simple. You have got to get out and meet a better

class of… wait you mean coughing, sneezing, aching sick, not

twisted, don’t you?

Why would I jump to That conclusion? I’ve met you, that’s why!

Lollie: "And these are some candid snaps of my time as a trapeze artist in  in a nudist colony. "         Margo: "Hanging upside down by your heels certainly counteracts the ill effects of gravity. I bet you wish you could do that now!"

  

Everyone has been sick a lot this year, haven’t they? Myself included. I’d like to tell you I slipped into my sweet little vintage bed jacket (sipping cold medicine from a crystal champagne flute)

to recover in style.

Wait, I’d LIKE to tell you that so… I will. That’s the way I remember this past couple of days. Not whining, wearing ratty pajamas, lying on the couch eating popsicles like a big old...

ADORABLE baby (Yes, adorable, I'm sure my family found my snoring and fussing and controlling the remote absolutely charming)

I should have known I was coming down with something on Tuesday when the sudden urge to ‘do something with my hair’ overcame me. I was thinking I just need a little 'lift'. And curlers. And teasing. And a bump. And hair spray. Lots and lots of hairspray.

Sorry it's out of focus, I was too, between not feeling great and playing with the new camera. (When I saw it I thought it was a bad angle but now I know my neck and under my chin were starting to swell up - but I couldn't let this much work on my fab 'do' go unshared)

A knight has his armor. A general has his troops. But nothing prepares a woman for her daily battles like the perfect hairdo.
                                                                  – from Love and a Bad Hair Day by Annie Flannigan

Before I could comb the Aqua Net out of my new ‘do’ the crud had overtaken me. BUT I still wanted to show off my new finds and join in for Pink Saturday.

Mother, may I go out and show off my new dress?  Show off? Well bred young ladies don't show off. Who do you think you are? Helen Hartman?

So I dressed up my sock monkey in my new thrifted necklace and earrings and from that point it just made sense he’d end up in a giant martini glass.

He does wear them better than I do.

My motto when I am not feeling well is – don’t be afraid to pamper yourself.  Of course, that’s my motto when I am feeling great as well. It’s a good policy, don’t you think?

I think it is a ridiculous policy! Why waste the effort to pamper yourself when there are so many others to do it for you? (did you read that with a cheesy French accent? I did.)

What, you wonder how a post about other people being sick has turned into an answer about me, me, me?

And your point is?

Oh, all right, some advice on dealing with friends and family who are under the weather. Hmmm, you might be inclined to take them chicken soup.

Yeah, Darrell may be giving you the "OK" sign for that homemade soup but clearly the second your back is turned he is going to spit it out and go open a can of Chicken Noodle like his mom used to make.

Or maybe a dish to help them feed their families. 

My newest cookbook finds, including Favorite Recipes of Wisconsin Meats. Ahh, Wisconsin, home of the boiled hot dog on a plate of sauerkraut with balls of potatoes rolled in parsley. Fa-a-a-ancy! 

But then if you take fine fare like the things suggested in The Best from the Badger State cookbook, your friends might decide to stay sick an extra day or so in hopes you will return with more! That's not really helping anyone is it? 

"Did Helen Just wiggle out of taking food over to sick people by accusing them of faking illness in order to get more boiled wienies and kraut?"    "Yes, she did. I'd be outraged if it wasn't just such a cogent argument."

I tend to think the best thing you can do for a friend, however, is not to take them food but to take them seriously. Listen to what’s going on and encourage them to take care of themselves. 

Okay, okay! I'll go to the doctor, just stop slobbrin' on me, will ya?

 Encourage? That’s a pretty word for boss them, nag them, trick them. Because you really do know what's best for them...

Kindly ol' Doc Coffinail, he told all his patients to smoke for sore throats and sinus infections! Eventually he didn't have any patients left. He assumed they all got better and lived in such good health they never needed him again.

 

And while you do all that, take care of yourselves as well and have a great weekend. I'm off to see a nurse practitioner because for some reason my family doesn't want to spend the weekend cooped up with me in my present state.