Friday, March 2, 2012

Sick? Again?

Dear Helen Hartman,
Lately it seems like everyone I know is sick. Love to know how to deal with all these sickos around me.

Dear Loved One,
The answer is simple. You have got to get out and meet a better
class of… wait you mean coughing, sneezing, aching sick, not
twisted, don’t you?
Why would I jump to That conclusion? I’ve met you, that’s why!

Lollie: "And these are some candid snaps of my time as a trapeze artist in  in a nudist colony. "         Margo: "Hanging upside down by your heels certainly counteracts the ill effects of gravity. I bet you wish you could do that now!"
  
Everyone has been sick a lot this year, haven’t they? Myself included. I’d like to tell you I slipped into my sweet little vintage bed jacket (sipping cold medicine from a crystal champagne flute)
to recover in style.


Wait, I’d LIKE to tell you that so… I will. That’s the way I remember this past couple of days. Not whining, wearing ratty pajamas, lying on the couch eating popsicles like a big old...

ADORABLE baby (Yes, adorable, I'm sure my family found my snoring and fussing and controlling the remote absolutely charming)
I should have known I was coming down with something on Tuesday when the sudden urge to ‘do something with my hair’ overcame me. I was thinking I just need a little 'lift'. And curlers. And teasing. And a bump. And hair spray. Lots and lots of hairspray.

Sorry it's out of focus, I was too, between not feeling great and playing with the new camera. (When I saw it I thought it was a bad angle but now I know my neck and under my chin were starting to swell up - but I couldn't let this much work on my fab 'do' go unshared)
A knight has his armor. A general has his troops. But nothing prepares a woman for her daily battles like the perfect hairdo.
                                                                  – from Love and a Bad Hair Day by Annie Flannigan

Before I could comb the Aqua Net out of my new ‘do’ the crud had overtaken me. BUT I still wanted to show off my new finds and join in for Pink Saturday.

Mother, may I go out and show off my new dress?  Show off? Well bred young ladies don't show off. Who do you think you are? Helen Hartman?

So I dressed up my sock monkey in my new thrifted necklace and earrings and from that point it just made sense he’d end up in a giant martini glass.

He does wear them better than I do.

My motto when I am not feeling well is – don’t be afraid to pamper yourself.  Of course, that’s my motto when I am feeling great as well. It’s a good policy, don’t you think?

I think it is a ridiculous policy! Why waste the effort to pamper yourself when there are so many others to do it for you? (did you read that with a cheesy French accent? I did.)

What, you wonder how a post about other people being sick has turned into an answer about me, me, me?
And your point is?

Oh, all right, some advice on dealing with friends and family who are under the weather. Hmmm, you might be inclined to take them chicken soup.

Yeah, Darrell may be giving you the "OK" sign for that homemade soup but clearly the second your back is turned he is going to spit it out and go open a can of Chicken Noodle like his mom used to make.

Or maybe a dish to help them feed their families. 

My newest cookbook finds, including Favorite Recipes of Wisconsin Meats. Ahh, Wisconsin, home of the boiled hot dog on a plate of sauerkraut with balls of potatoes rolled in parsley. Fa-a-a-ancy! 

But then if you take fine fare like the things suggested in The Best from the Badger State cookbook, your friends might decide to stay sick an extra day or so in hopes you will return with more! That's not really helping anyone is it? 

"Did Helen Just wiggle out of taking food over to sick people by accusing them of faking illness in order to get more boiled wienies and kraut?"    "Yes, she did. I'd be outraged if it wasn't just such a cogent argument."

I tend to think the best thing you can do for a friend, however, is not to take them food but to take them seriously. Listen to what’s going on and encourage them to take care of themselves. 

Okay, okay! I'll go to the doctor, just stop slobbrin' on me, will ya?
 Encourage? That’s a pretty word for boss them, nag them, trick them. Because you really do know what's best for them...

Kindly ol' Doc Coffinail, he told all his patients to smoke for sore throats and sinus infections! Eventually he didn't have any patients left. He assumed they all got better and lived in such good health they never needed him again.
 
And while you do all that, take care of yourselves as well and have a great weekend. I'm off to see a nurse practitioner because for some reason my family doesn't want to spend the weekend cooped up with me in my present state.


34 comments:

  1. Get well soon, Helen! That sock monkey's super glam, if if you're not feeling it. x

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    1. That's my darling Buddy MonKaye - he has quiet a story of his own. Yes, he is always glam.

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  2. Well, you haven't lost your sense of humor at least! Get well soon, my friend! Pamper yourself and get plenty of rest this weekend! Snuggle with sock monkey! heehee! ♥

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    1. Doc has given the magical mythical ZPac of Wellness. Should be better soon but no rest as we are under heavy duty storm warnings so we're supposed to be alert all afternoon.

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  3. Blech. Sorry your sick...sounds like you have what I've had...can one pass that via email? Yuck. Get well soon, my friend!

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    1. Thanks! They say it's a small world, and if you doubt it just see how fast a crummy bug gets around!

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  4. Get well soon, bummer to be sick on the weekend:@)

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    1. Thanks! I don't know, it does give me an excuse to not have to run around trying to get all that stuff done I don't get done during the week.

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  5. Thanks for taking time out of your busy illness to make us laugh. I loved the sly mother-in-law Chicken Noodle slam. :)

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    1. That's actually what happened here. Hubby went about bought me some fancy home made soup and after he went to work I went and bought a can of Campbells.

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  6. Being sick is a good excuse to watch old movies nonstop all day long. If you're too sick to care what's on the tube, get thee to the doctor.

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    1. I agree. I've been watching old TV shows because I can drift off and wake up and watch and not miss much.

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  7. So, I'm at work today and I see a post from Helen Hartmann to which I think, I have a few minutes, so I am going to read this! LOVED IT!! Made me laugh as usual!! You help bring a smile to my face often on days that I needed it! I hope you are feeling better, Annie!
    xo
    Holly

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    1. Thanks Holly. I am better but not fast enough. Harumph. The very act of going to the Dr should come with an energy boost, shouldn't it?

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  8. Dear Helen,
    I believe the fever is making you delusional...or maybe you're overcome with a bad case of Aqua Net fumes. In what universe does the family ever take care of the mom when she's ill?
    Three things...one, tell the doc you want the good stuff. You know the stuff that knocks you out.
    Two, tell your family do not disturb.
    Three, take two martinis and call me in the morning!
    Seriously...take care of yourself and sleep, sleep, sleep!
    Deb

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    1. LOL Deb - I think you have a career in the works as a patient's advocate. My family actually has been pretty nice, but then, this is something you can see and it's icky looking and I am planted in the center of the house where they can't avoid me!

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  9. Helen, Such a cute post! I love the tip of taking your cold medicine in a champagne flute! Hope you feel better. Happy Pink Saturday. ~Marti

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    1. Thanks. Am getting better. Maybe there will be actual champagne in that glass soon!

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  10. aahhh im so sorry to hear you are feeling poorly look after yourself and get well soon. dee x

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    1. Thanks dee! On the bright side, my hubby and daughter won't go off the movies tonight for the first time in months so they can stay here with me and watch Celebrity Ghost Stories (which I am too chicken to watch at night alone).

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  11. Happy Pink Saturday!
    It is always nice to see what each lovely lady is up to...and the creativity that flows...I pray that you all have a blessed week !
    Please come by my blog anytime...I love having you!
    God Bless......Kandy

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  12. I'm so glad that you are safe after all the bad weather! And, I hope that you are no longer under the weather either!
    hugs!
    Holly

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    1. Thanks Holly. It was a weird day and so strange because we work in that area, we keep thinking if a home or church we had worked on is just gone now.

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  13. Trapeze eh? Hm, I've tried everything else to defy gravity, might as well give that a go too! Whoopee! And, I think sock monkey & I may have things in common. I like her look - and her martini glass. We could have some great conversations, sock monkey & I. ;- )

    Get well SOON Dearest Helen!

    ~Vickie~

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    1. Sock Monkeys are good listeners but they will sock up the gin, let me tell you.

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    2. SOAK up the gin. I guess they also sock it away!

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  14. I hope you are on your way to recovery. Get well, sweetie!

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    1. Thanks so much. I am better-ish.Seems like this will be a slow mend.

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  15. I never saw a sock monkey look so jazzy. Yes, jazzy. My Dad's favorite adjective really comes in handy once in a while.

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  16. Love this...Stop by, I gave you an award...

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  17. Oh my goodness...I LOVE the hair! Karrie was gone for a couple of days with the YULK....and just returned today! Thought of you on Sunday as we were at an estate sale and found some great old vintage magazines with lots of fun ads! Hope you are feeling better!!

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    1. What fun! Still on the mend but hoping to be back at the blog soon.

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