Friday, March 30, 2012

Whole Lotto Dreamin' Goin' On!

Dear Helen Hartman,
Help! I think I am coming down with a case of Lotto Fever. I know the odds are against winning but the $$$ is Huge (and the $$$ in my bank account is pretty small). Would love any advice on playing the lottery you can spare!

Dear Loved One,
Lotto Fever? Helen seems to be immune. Boogie fever?

"Ya, go on with your bad self, Claus. Get down and boogie-oogie-oggie."
I don’t want to talk about it.

It’s pretty clear you are going to buy a ticket. Helen wouldn’t want the responsibility of lending advice on the number choosing process but I have no problem at all telling you how to spend those winnings!

"Quit my job?" Joan would do it in a minute if she won big but she did wonder how she would ever replace the electrifying thrill of typing inane letters for her boss.
 
First as soon as anyone knows you’ve won, relatives will be coming out of the woodwork,

What? You don't remember your dear Aunt Arnold?
 
So I am going to assume that once you’ve won you’re going to have to go into hiding, at least until things cool off. That means you can’t go OUT and shop for stuff so you’ll have to stick to things you can buy from the back of magazines. Since you'll be stuck there you’ll want to jazz up the place.

Norma's decorating was the stuff of nightmares but it practically insured her kids would never move back home after they escaped her bad taste  moved out.

Please, don’t give me that “just what’s wrong with my place, I decorated it myself and think it’s stunning" look. Unless you mean stunning like what happens to someone when they are jabbed with a cattle prod.

You suggest using a cattle prod like it's a BAD thing. How do you think I get my hair to stand up this high?

 Here an idea from the back of magazines you might consider to decorate your home:

The best thing to happen to the patio since the INVENTION of the rose? Mind sufficiently boggled but the Electrified Flamingo does sound like a dance I used to do.

Once that’s done you may want to spend some of that spare time doing a little self-improvement. No, I’m not implying anything by that suggestion. We could ALL use do a little work on ourselves. 

That's right. If you are tired of using pills to reduce try THIS! Go on, spring for the Deluxe model.

How could you NOT subscribe to PACK-O-FUN? What are you a Pack-O-PartyPooper?

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t splurge a little

It's better than a diamond - buy one for every finger!


Finally you’ll be ready to test the waters and try going out. To avoid the mobs you may want to invest in a few things to create a disguise.

Real Human hair for $12! Um, just what hair color is Off Black? That is sure to be an... interesting hair do.


Finally, after you consider all the problems that come with instant riches you might want to reconsider buying that ticket. Though Helen can definitely see the appeal. What thrifter hasn’t brought home a find and wondered if it might be worth 10 or a thousand times more than we paid for it? 

A Mid Mod table I got for a song and have seen online for a pretty price. Not that I'd sell it!
 
A lottery ticket isn’t just a chance to win, it’s an invitation to dream. For those hours between the time you pick your numbers and the winning numbers are drawn you get to go to a place that few of us ever visit as grown ups. The land of ‘what if’.  
 Helen thinks it might be worth that dollar investment for that alone.
 And who knows, stranger things have happened. Doctors now say that people who have a couple of drinks a week live longer than those who abstain. 


Pink Salt! Perfect for a girly margarita and Pink Saturday!

And a recent study proves that those who have chocolate now and then, weigh less than those who deny themselves. 

My gift to you for the weekend! Perfect for weight loss - especially when you read the recipe.

So who’s to say that someone who plays the lottery now and then won’t reap some benefits? And somebody will win – eventually. If it’s not ME then I hope it’s YOU. (especially because I know what kind of crazy disguise you’ll be going out in after your big windfall!) 
So... you going to buy a ticket?

38 comments:

  1. I've never bought a lottery ticket, round here I can make £1 go a long way...at least two vintage dresses! Nice to dream though! x

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  2. Dear Helen - those of us that live in Sin City cannot partake of the fun of Lotto, unless we drive across state lines to purchase tickets. In a town chock full of other fun decadence, it hardly seems worth the 45 minute trek. We DO have a myriad of pink lawn flamingos, however, and there are MORE than a few Mormon gals in town that could tell you exactly how to get your hair that high!

    Living vicariously through your Lotto fun - hope you win BIG! Thanks for the morning laughs - Happy Friday - BOOGIE ON!

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  3. LOL - who knew that about Vegas? Not me. Haven't decided to buy a ticket yet. The only time I ever did, I walked out of the store and a hail storm came out of nowhere. A sign?

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  4. I've never bought even so much as a scratch-off...and now I know why. If it makes your hair big, count me out. Being from Texas (and having grown up in the big hair days of the 60s), I have to work constantly to live down the big hair stereotype! LOL

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    1. LOL Big Hair and Texas go hand in hand - or is that Comb in hand?

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  5. Oh..gosh! Morgan just brought this up...the man has NEVER bought a ticket in his life...I told him if he wanted to part with $$$ just give it to me!

    Nope. Not buying one. But I might buy that wig. The off black one to go with my sense of humor...

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    1. Well that wig is one gamble that might come with a big pay off!

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  6. I hope whoever this lucky person might be, needs it. Probably noone. I think like all gambling, it is controlled.

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    1. After you hear some of those lottery stories, you do begin to wonder if it's really a good thing to win! Both my kids said "NO" to buying a ticket... I guess it worked all those years ago when our state first got the lottery I used to show them all the tickets thrown in the trash outside the mini mart and tell them to imagine all those slips of paper as dollar bills!

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  7. We bought 2...gotta give it a shot!

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    1. Were YOU the winner? It really has been kind of like a national holiday, hasn't it?

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  8. My Sweet Ole Bob has gone out to purchase his tickets just now. He is also bringing dinner since I broke my toe Wednesday. Better not let me choose the numbers. He doesn't want me anywhere near that/those ticket(s).
    Have a great weekend, someone probably will. Hugs

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    1. OH, so sorry about your toe. Toe breaks can be such a pain, literally! Take care of yourself.

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  9. I tossed $5 into the hat at work today. Don't do it often but I'll be damned if I'll be the ONLY one left working there if they hit!!! Happy Weekend:@)

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    1. Oh, yeah, if your group plays, you have to play!

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  10. Hi Helen: I'm going out now to get my ticket and then when I win I'm going to move to Paris! Happy Pink Saturday. ~Marti

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  11. Interesting pondering! Did you get a ticket? I see Happier than a Pig in Mud did. (comment above mine). I like her sentiment in not wanting to be the only one left working there. I "recognize" Aunt Arnold (what movie?) and found Norma's decor motive interesting! Happy Pink Saturday.

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    1. LOL - "Aunt Arnold" does look familiar but it's not from a movie its a totally inexplicable photo we found in my uncle's professional portfolio (he was a photographer). Now that was like winning the lottery.

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  12. I was excited to read about the Lotto on the msn front page till I REALIZED It wasn't the Canadian one. *OHHH BOOO* Here I was all pumped to try and win....
    Out of my pain and sorrow ... I should probably purchase the animated flamingos to make me feel better.

    P.S. YOUR TABLE IS FLIPPIN AWSOME! I love it.

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    1. Animated flamingos are the proper cheerer upper for life's little setbacks, aren't they? Thanks on the table. It is one of my most prized possessions.

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  13. Now you are just scaring me. Where do you find these things? That's right, the back of magazines. Lotto no, mod table YES!

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    1. Thanks on the table. It was sooooo hard to pick what nutty stuff to show case - and those were just a couple of magazines. I think the back of magazines used to be what etsy (and regretsy) are today.

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  14. Dear Helen! You,re right its an invitation to a dream..I have so much fun thinking about what I would do if...and talking to people about what they would do if...Now here's my sad ending..I thought they drew numbers on Saturday...and I was planning to get one TODAY when I went to the grocery store...sigh..Have a great week! Dianna

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    1. Oh NO! Didn't they used to draw them on Saturday? Looks like somebody won but it wasn't me.

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    2. Didn't they used to draw them on Saturday? I guess somebody won but it sure wasn't me.

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  15. It might be the pain killers that I'm on after my foot surgery, but those animated patio birds would be perfect for Josie's birthday request to have a flamingo party in June. Your table is simply DIVINE! Congrats to the Lotto winners!

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    1. Did she say Flamingo or Flamenco - because she would look so cute as a little dancer.

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  16. A very cute post I would buy a lotto ticket but someone won it last night. Three lucky people. I hope they do some good with all that money. smile.
    Love your post today.
    Hugs, Jeanne

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    1. Well, there's always next time! Thanks for coming by.

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  17. Well, I"m still here, reading posts because my dream of winning was dashed...again....But it was fun to think about and I didn't mind giving 3 dollars to help someone else's dreams come true...Actually, I think it was 3 winners, so a dollar from me to each of them! :-)

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    1. That was so generous of you, thinking of others is it's own reward (though $ would be nice too!)

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  18. Dang it! I didn't win either! I don't know if I could do it. I mean, not shopping thrift anymore? Not bragging that I only paid $3 when told, "I love your dress." Sheez! Good thing I'm still "economically challenged."
    Happy Pink Saturday, Annie!

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    1. Thanks for coming - haven't been able to comment until just now - crossing my fingers this shows (that makes it very hard to type!). Love your concern that being rich would mess up your thrifting!

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  19. Didn't buy a ticket, but you did give me some new and nifty decorating ideas...

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    1. Yipeee! Wait... was that an April Fools Day joke?

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  20. Hahahaha made me laugh Helen's comment above. We did bought 5 tickets that's only it. Not even one number was on the lotto ticket lol!

    Blue Monday

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  21. lol, you bet $1 is worth it just for the dream... & really... the Dr's now say that a couple drinks a week lengthen life as compared to those that abstain? Love that & going to run with it.

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