Dear Helen Hartman,
In planning for our vacation next month I made an appointment for a spray tan, new nails and a hair weave. My husband joked that we are going out to the beach, not into the witness protection program. After I threw my new butt-lifting tummy-tamer swimsuit at him, I did begin to feel guilty because he may have a point. Love to know why we feel the need to be something we’re not when we’re heading off to be around people we don’t know and who we’ll never see again. Shouldn’t vacations be a time when you feel MOST like yourself?
Dear Loves Herself But Needs to Get Away from Herself One,
If you ask Helen…
|And even though you should know better, you DID|
…being one’s own self is overrated.
Especially if one gets the chance to slip off the familiar trappings from time to time and be, well, anything you want to be! Why would you not do that?
|Apparently it's called 'impersonating an officer' and the local police frown on it.|
Some people might argue that it’s not wise to go faking your way through life.
|Wise Old Owl? No, a big ugly fake that I had to own, so you may want to take that into account before acting on any advice I give you.|
I’d tell those people that it’s not wise to argue with Helen and that a little fakery is what makes life interesting. A rose by any other name might smell as sweet but to some calling pulpified pork shoulder and psices SPAM has the stink of deception all over it… among other things.
|Notice she doesn't want that 'dinner' anywhere near her. Wow, the cloves stuck in it almost had me fooled into thinking it was a tiny, mushy ham!|
But to others, it smells of sweet, sweet success.
Mutton dressed as Lamb (you’ve never read the label on SPAM, have you?) you say? Helen asks what’s wrong with that? Speaking as a pretty run of the mill Mutt, dressing up sometimes is fun!
|An attempt at making a modern dress look vintage - more on that when I figure out how to use the timer on my new camera.|
Whether it’s you in your home…
|The Challenge in this article to guess what was 'real' and what was 'the new plastics'. Hint: it was 1969. EVERYTHING was plastic.|
|1969, People. Even the grass is fake. And the ceiling? Would you think I was a big phony if I said I liked it?|
Or even your preferred mode of holiday transportation.
|I LOVED CONTACT paper. Fake? Who cares, it was FABULOUS.|
I can speak to this issue personally. I won an award this past weekend but life stepped in to make it impossible for me to go to Chicago and accept it. Pretty bummed so Saturday while visiting the monthly Flea off Market when Hubby bought me this and presented it to me because he thought I really deserved some recognition, I was actually touched (no nobody at the flea market touched me, though that might have been exciting too)
|It's Plastic, sparkly and from someone special. Sometimes the fake is better than the real deal.|
In fact, often it’s the unexpected things along the way that leave you with the best memories. So why not do the unexpected? It’s your vacay, be your real self, or your best self or a total stranger to your self.
Do it the way that makes you happy. In fact, in life in general - Be whoever you want to be! But don’t try to be Helen – because I will find you and, well, you’ve seen what I can do with SPAM.