Monday, April 2, 2012

Have Gas? Lucky You!

Dear Helen Hartman
Gas prices are sky high – when I say that I mean I think it would be cheaper to fill my tank with rocket fuel! I’d get a second job to pay for it, but then I’d use more gas to get to and from it.  Any thoughts besides planning a staycation (REALLY, tip people, if EVER there was a time a person needed an escape it’s NOW)? Love to travel Helen style…that’s cheap, right?

Dear Loved One,
Sigh. Helen isn’t quite old enough to have driven in the days when gas was cheap and cars were flashy.

Dear Santa - PLE-E--Ease?

 Now the cars are made on the cheap and I can't seem to crawl out of one without flashing something!



So I turned to my old go-to gal Amy Vanderbilt. No, she didn’t have a success booklet for cars that I’ve found yet but there is a section in this one from 1965 on how to manage owning a car. 

A year? Wow, I know some people who spend $241.40 in just gas every MONTH.
  
Then as now the key is not to get so caught up about the cost of gas that you forgo the cost of upkeep. A well-kept car runs smoother and uses less energy.

"Don't be a big silly. It CAN'T be a gas guzzler... it's PINK!"

Come to think of it, that’s good advice for all of us – when prices are high we often neglect the things that make our lives run smooth and maximize our energy! Like vacations and getting away from it all.

Okay, then, Mommy's off to her happy place to refill her tank! (Translation - Happy Place: Locked bathroom. Refill her tank: Stuff herself with the last box of Thin Mints that nobody else knows she has) That'll keep reality at bay for a while. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Of course, I have considered alternative modes of transport

People always teased Ken that his feet were big canoes. That gave him this idea.  So, who's laughing now?  EVERYBODY, that's who. That Ken!

I’d try one of those bike contraptions but I wouldn’t want to risk getting big, muscular thighs.

"Muscular, huh? THAT's what we're calling those big tree trunks you lumber around on now?
It’s been raining a lot around here lately – maybe one of these?

Jim laughed because he made that lame joke about being up you-know-what creek without a paddle when Suz's oar floated away.  Suz laughed because now Jim had to do all the rowing.

I’d consider a horse but…

Did Special K EVER have a good idea for marketing? What's the message? Eat like a horse... and look like one too?
I can’t afford that much breakfast cereal. Have you seen the price of THAT lately?

Traveling in Helen Style? If I had my way THIS is how I’d go…

Man leaning out the window: Hey you $#@&!! flamingos get off my *&^%! lawn!  BTW: they said to keep arms and legs inside the moving vehicle they didn’t say nothing about keeping your whiny kid in.

As it is I’m in the same (figurative) boat as everyone else – staying home more, consolidating my errands and longing for the good old days.

Yep. The good old days - when the car was full of gas, and your husband wasn't!

 I Hope you're roaring off to a great week!

33 comments:

  1. Hello Helen:
    In these days of austerity around the world, and from which there appears to be no escape [believe us, we are trying], this post stands as an inspiration for all of us who wish to travel and who cannot afford bicycle clips, let alone petrol for a motor car.

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    1. I'm thinking of taking up streaking - surely then some nice police officers will give me a ride! That, however, would probably be the opposite of inspiring!

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  2. Note the age of the geriatrics in that Mustang! Yes, those are the folks that can afford the cost of that vintage vehicle and the insurance. So...take heart, all we have to do is work another 25 years, retire when we are 75 and we'll be having fun just like Grampa and Grama there!

    Tammy

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    1. LOL - you've got it right! Seems like every time I see a very snazzy convertible whiz by the driver is gray haired and happy!

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  3. Well our5 petrol pumps have been empty here for the past few days due to panic with oil tanker strikes stupid governments fault. So its been using your legs time ;-) At least you beat the traffic jams ;-)) dee x

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    1. Oh my! I'd be in a pickle without gas as I live in the country. It would take me most of the day to walk to a market and back! Hope you have a solution soon and are enjoying pretty weather for walking in the mean time.

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  4. Dear HelenHartman
    Last time I rode a bike I wound up in the emergency room. You crack me up! =D
    Dorothy

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    1. Dear Dorothy - it sounds like you crack YOURSELF up! That just proves bikes are bad news.

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  5. can't get thin mints out of our mind now....don't know if we'd lock ourselves in the bathroom....well, on second thought ~ the kids wouldn't get any then!! Gas is crazy...laughed because we went to NYC this weekend and gas was CHEAPER than home ~ get out of here (in our best NY accent!) Oh well, guess we'll have to give up the thin mints so we can afford another gallon....lol!

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    1. A box of thing mints is $3.50 but gs here is $4.10. I'll take the cookies!

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  6. Lovin' that yellow beauty in the first pic! Have a great week:@)

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    1. You too! I thin fate didn't let me win that lottery because for all my leanings of being charitable, I would probably have spent far too much on things like that shiny, shiny car!

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  7. I would die to have gas at 35 cents a gallon. I feel bad fillinf up now, so I tend to put only $20 in at a time. Just makes me go to the gas station more often though. Love the photo with the pink flamingos!

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  8. Thanks - I just bite down on my purse strap and fill the tank up. It feels good knowing I don't have to do it again for a week.

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  9. What an adorable blog post. I just bought a new townie bike last week for all of my errands. My husband was going to buy me a new car, and I told him I really would rather have a new bicycle. She's a beauty.

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    1. I live too far away from anything for a bike - thank goodness! But I understand the thinking. Someday I will move close enough to walk every where. Thanks for stopping by.

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  10. Girl, ya got me splittin' a gut here!!! "When the cars were full of gas and the husbands weren't", hehehehehe!!! Ain't that the truth!

    I fear I'm old enough to remember less than a quarter a gallon gas. Hubs would step on the old Pontiac GTO and say...look at the gas gauge fall!!! We'd laugh and think it was funny. Heck, we were just a couple moon~eye college kids...what did we know???

    Yet another great fun post sweetie!!! :o)

    God bless ya and have an excellent kinda week my friend! :o)

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    1. Sigh, it's no longer a world where we laugh about gas - well, not the kind that goes in the car anyways. Thanks for coming by - have a great week yourself.

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  11. Dear Helen: I can remember when my dad would drive an extra mile to get gas for .27 cents a gallon! I think his car got four or five miles per. When I was old enough to drive, cars only cost $2300, got 30 mpg and gas was $1.19 per gallon.

    WHAT HAPPENED???

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    1. I dunno! But that does remind me - remember gas wars? When stations would lure customers with a penny cheaper gas? Also as a kid I remember every other day gas rationing and no gas on Sundays! Ahh those 70s.

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  12. I'm checking in just before bed for some Helen humor and I'm so glad I did. Another post to send a link to hubby. He'll get a kick out of this one...we're leaving for a trip in a few days and we'll look for that gas station with the 35 cent gas! lol I Am old enough to remember putting 50 cents worth of gas in my car when I was a teenager...am I REALLY that OLD! Don't answer that Helen...it's a rhetoric question! heeheehee!

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    1. LOL, I'd never say anything about anyone else's age... wait, 50 cents? Just kidding. The first time I ever filled up gas was 75cents a gallon but it jumped very shortly after to over a dollar. I remember the shock and all the pumps that didn't even have the ability to register a price in dollars, not cents. Enjoy your trip!

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    2. I knew if I said NOT to say anything...you most surely would! heeheehee! My first car was a 1964 Ford Falcon and it would go a long way on 50 cents when I got it in '66...when I was 16. I knew you would want to know that since we aren't talking about ages or anything! And maybe this will be buried deep in your post and no one else will read it! haha! I really have the MOST fun of anyone I know...my age!

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  13. Rocket fuel, yep, that sounds cool! Until then, I'm stuck with my ole' pickup truck ~ nowhere near glamorous like your photos but it does the job:)

    ~Cindy

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    1. You know riding in a good ol' truck is it's own kind of rocket ride!

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  14. Ah the good old days. Dang, I hate getting old & thinking EVERYTHING was THE funnest and THE greatest, but well, it WAS! My first car was a 1959 Chevy! I think it's now called a "low rider" & some of them jump up & down with hydraulics. I guess I could look at that with disgust but honestly, gosh, it might just be fun - granny juming up & down on the interstate! Woo-hoo! (wouldn't the grandson just be rolling eyeballs!). Oh & gas wars! Those were the most fun. Four stations at an intersection competing by the penny - yep, them were the good old days. BTW - I think I tried all the above "other" modes of transport too ;- )
    ~Vic~

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    1. Well now I am trying to picture you in canoe shoes! Them was the good ol days!

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  15. I remember one time in college when I put 19 cents worth of gas in my car. I think gas was probably 35 cents a gallon. Ahhh, the good old days. I'm so glad you found by blog and now i have found you back. That good old Kentucky humor never leaves you no matter where you live :)
    Laura

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    1. LOL - thanks for coming by. Loved your blog and love the story of the 19cents!

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  16. Na-a-ay to Special K! You kill me, Helen...think I'll just have the coffee this morning. Here's to "happy places" and cheaper gas, this fine April Tuesday - thanks for the laughs - my day is made! Tanya

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    1. Thanks Tanya. Here's to cheaper gas and fewer people mistaking me for any part of a horse!

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  17. I totally want one of those bicycle water contraptions... I wonder what sort of looks I would get at the lake! *bwhahaah*

    That Special K ad is HORRENDOUS!!

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    1. You'd look fab cycling across the waves! That ad is just too tacky, isn't it?

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