Dear Helen Hartman
Gas prices are sky high – when I say that I mean I think it would be cheaper to fill my tank with rocket fuel! I’d get a second job to pay for it, but then I’d use more gas to get to and from it. Any thoughts besides planning a staycation (REALLY, tip people, if EVER there was a time a person needed an escape it’s NOW)? Love to travel Helen style…that’s cheap, right?
Dear Loved One,
Sigh. Helen isn’t quite old enough to have driven in the days when gas was cheap and cars were flashy.
|Dear Santa - PLE-E--Ease?|
Now the cars are made on the cheap and I can't seem to crawl out of one without flashing something!
So I turned to my old go-to gal Amy Vanderbilt. No, she didn’t have a success booklet for cars that I’ve found yet but there is a section in this one from 1965 on how to manage owning a car.
|A year? Wow, I know some people who spend $241.40 in just gas every MONTH.|
Then as now the key is not to get so caught up about the cost of gas that you forgo the cost of upkeep. A well-kept car runs smoother and uses less energy.
|"Don't be a big silly. It CAN'T be a gas guzzler... it's PINK!"|
Come to think of it, that’s good advice for all of us – when prices are high we often neglect the things that make our lives run smooth and maximize our energy! Like vacations and getting away from it all.
Of course, I have considered alternative modes of transport
|People always teased Ken that his feet were big canoes. That gave him this idea. So, who's laughing now? EVERYBODY, that's who. That Ken!|
I’d try one of those bike contraptions but I wouldn’t want to risk getting big, muscular thighs.
|"Muscular, huh? THAT's what we're calling those big tree trunks you lumber around on now?|
It’s been raining a lot around here lately – maybe one of these?
|Jim laughed because he made that lame joke about being up you-know-what creek without a paddle when Suz's oar floated away. Suz laughed because now Jim had to do all the rowing.|
I’d consider a horse but…
|Did Special K EVER have a good idea for marketing? What's the message? Eat like a horse... and look like one too?|
I can’t afford that much breakfast cereal. Have you seen the price of THAT lately?
Traveling in Helen Style? If I had my way THIS is how I’d go…
|Man leaning out the window: Hey you $#@&!! flamingos get off my *&^%! lawn! BTW: they said to keep arms and legs inside the moving vehicle they didn’t say nothing about keeping your whiny kid in.|
As it is I’m in the same (figurative) boat as everyone else – staying home more, consolidating my errands and longing for the good old days.
|Yep. The good old days - when the car was full of gas, and your husband wasn't!|