Thursday, May 3, 2012


Dear Helen Hartman,
I wanted to ask you a question regarding hat etiquette. I am currently working on a resource for my first fashion blog ( http://fedoras.com/blog/) that will highlight rules ladies should know regarding hat etiquette (including fashionable hats such as fedoras and top hats). For example, are there situations where it's appropriate to wear your hat indoors and others when not? What types of occasions would you say are appropriate to wear a fedora to? Any tip you can provide with regards to hat etiquette is much appreciated; I'm still learning the ropes.

Dear Fedora-Loving One,
Helen loves hats.

Cold Cream in her soap and a lead-pipe scepter hidden in her rose bouquet. This was pageant pro you did not want to upstage in the talent round. Not if you valued you baton twirling fingers.
What? A Tiara is to a hat... if you are a Queen, which, of course, Helen is.  And let’s get real, would a Queen (Helen) care about than ‘what ladies should know’ about acceptable headwear behavior?

Loretta Gale Goodbody, queen of the wild frontier, never gave a hoot about fashion dos and don't. But she did give a  Yee-haw when cowboys asked to get a close look at that fancy stitching on her shirt.

That means Helen is probably a very bad resource to ask about “Hatiquette”. If, however, you want to learn a thing or two about “Hattitude”, have you ever come to the right place!

This year's Derby Hart, same old attitude.
Perfect for PINK SATURDAY

First, I must confess I know or care little about the ‘rules’ for men, other than there are times and places when wearing a hat is just not right.

Since they didn't wear hats in the steam room, when the club went coed, Sam suggested they  take off their towels when a lady entered. Here they are waiting for the first one to arrive so they can show her their charm and manners.
As for the rules for women? The first and only rule as far as I'm concerned is... 

Never talk about Hat Club.
No, it's if you want to have hattitude, you have got to have a GREAT hat.

Nana, tourist, cop on beat, who has the hat that's really neat? I DO! I DO! I DO! Maria couldn't help it. When she looked this good, 'window wishing' brought out her compulsion for trash talking.  

You must wear a hat in a way that let’s everyone know who you are:

Wearing a Nurse's Cap tells people "I'm in charge".  
Making a Nurse's cap out of toilet paper tell's people "I'm in charge... of my own little world".

And what you want.

I want a hot young stud to lift me in his strong, sinewy arms and carry me up my stairs and... That's it. I just have a really difficult time with those stairs.

Sometimes a bad choice of hats tells people more about you than anything you say or do.

"Should we tell Phyllis she's wearing a sock on her head again?"

Of course, if you have the right outlook, a clever and confident lady can make anything work to her advantage.


When Millie realized she'd gone out without a hat, she didn't miss a beat. She grabbed the nearest  flower pot, dumped out the dirt and stuck the pot on her head. A new trend was born. What trend, you ask? The trend of never letting Millie near your flower pots. Or pots and pans. Or dog's watering dish.

I guess, like most things in fashion, in life, and in vaccum-sealed, quart-sized thermoses (in more than one way if you think about it), it’s not what you see that makes it work, it’s what’s inside. 


So go back inside and put your best hat on. No matter what you face today, you can always plead insanity – and the judge will take one look at that hat and allow it. 

Of course, no matter what you have in your thermos or your your hat box you will never look as cool as this:

Ida Maxine Barrett Shorter  (my mom)

52 comments:

  1. Oh Dear Helen Sweetie...
    You have done it again. I SO enjoye reading your writes and find myself LOL. You are the best. Thank you for that Hattitude lesson today.

    Many hugs and much love, Sherry

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    Replies
    1. OMG, if EVER there were an example of Hattitude, it's you! Your charm and grace befit a lovely hat.

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  2. Hello Helen:
    With a name such as ours, how could we possibly be anything but totally in favour of hats? But we do, always, stick to the one golden rule:

    "Not before eleven, and never after seven."

    But in your case, of crowns and tiaras, most likely different rules apply!

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    Replies
    1. Cool rule! It seems in the US anything goes as far as hats are concerned. Well, not JUST hats. We're a pretty loose group!

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  3. Your mother is beautiful...what beautiful style! Now I see where you get yours!

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    Replies
    1. Ahhh, thanks. I never saw that photo until a cousin shared it a few years ago. My Mom was like a movie star to me.

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  4. Well of course a tiara is a hat. And if you do it just right, you can wear the tiara under your Derby hat. Just sayin'.

    Love the pic of your mom - beautiful, just like you!

    Happy Derby! :)

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    Replies
    1. Like the idea of the tiara under the Derby Hat, then if it's as warm as the promise, I can remove the hat and still be done up properly.

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  5. Your mom was really a looker! And she's wearing that hat at such a jaunty angle!

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  6. Your Mom was a beauty, the epitome of style & hatitude! xxx

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    1. She was. And funny and wise and filled with grace.Thanks.

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  7. The first picture had me recalling the old TV show, "Queen for a Day"...boy what memory file was that in that you triggered!? Then I saw Mom in her cloche hat at a rakish angle! "Go stand over there by those roses," said Pa. And so she did and thousands of women across the world now wish that they had a cloche hat! Excuse, me I have to go put on my hat and go get the mail.

    Tammy

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    1. LOL, I can just imagine the looks you'll get wearing your jaunty hat to get the mail. I do remember Queen for a Day!

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  8. Love,love love your Derby hat and now I want one!

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    Replies
    1. LOL - it's just a Target sun hat, a pink lining and a ribbon with pink flowers glued on - you could have one tonight if you've got your glue gun fired up.

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  9. I would love to have hats come back full force. there would never be another bad hair day.
    cathy

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    Replies
    1. Good point! I did go through the pulling a ball cap on to hide my hair phase, I admit.

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  10. Woo Hoo, here's to hatitude! Being in the military made my curly hair MUCH more manageable! Got a big kick out of the lady looking for the stud puppy:@) Love your mom's hat, it looks great!

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    1. Thanks. I was gonna go dirty on the lady and the stud but really, have a handsome man carry you around is about as much as some of us can take, hattitude or not.

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  11. The picture of your mom is adorable. I only wear my tiara around. Sometimes my cowgirl hat. Keep making me laugh!!!!!!

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  12. I'm one chick who loves hats but haven't worn one in a coon's age. Remember back in the late 60's it was cool and mod to have a hat that matched your outfit.

    No, am I the only really old gal here? Well, those hats looked marvelous with go~go boots. I was stylin'! 'Just sayin'....

    God bless ya and have a marvelous day sweetie!!!

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    Replies
    1. Are you thinking of those sort of puffy baseball cap hats? I thought those were 'kicky' but not old enough to buy them for myself - all the girls in my class got shiny go go boots - three colors, black, white or bone.

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  13. You're lovely just like your mama:)

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    Replies
    1. Ahhh. That's so sweet. I would feel blessed if people thought I was like my mama.

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  14. aahhh love that photo of your mum she can wear a hat with style and grace. But that flowerpot hat had me in stitches ;-)) I mean really fashion really did have a lot to answer for at time ;-)) dee x

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    1. Thanks! Yes, hats have especially have gone off the rails fashion wise through the ages, haven't they?

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  15. Dear Helen~
    A crown is the only hat a woman should wear. It's a subtle reminder of who is in charge...lest they forget!

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    1. But of course! When a woman puts on a hat it says, "I'm going out" when she put on a crown it says "I'm going all Regal on your @$$">

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    2. oh! I just read your reply - only Helen Hartman can get away with saying what we all are thinking!! xo

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  16. well, tomorrow is Derby day here in Kentucky and let's face it, the more outrageous the better. :)

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  17. Replies
    1. I'd never wear a wacky hat! Well, never in public. Okay, never in public where there are cameras. Oh, all right, I'd never wear a wacky hat in public, with cameras without sunglasses and a drink handy.

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  18. VERY nice pic of your Mom!!! Women really knew how to wear hats back in the day, didn't they? These days, I'm not so sure! I have never been much of a hat person because I am so short and they seem to just abruptly cut me off. I love to see ladies wear nice hats, especially at the KY derby when just about anything goes! I'm not really sold on the "fascinators" so much, but to each his own! Great post again!!!!

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    1. I'm with you on the fascinators. It just looks like an old fashioned cigarette girl get up or something. They are already showing crazy Derby Hats on TV this Derby Day.

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  19. You always bring a smile in your writes. Love HATS!!! I do find them both fascinating & exciting. Love your Mother's pic.

    Have a lovely weekend ~
    TTFN ~
    Marydon

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Hope your weekend is great - and you find a reason to wear a fab hat!

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    2. Thank you. Have a great weekend yourself and hope you find a reason to wear a FAB hat.

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  20. Helen has hattitude this Pink Saturday! I think you look gorgeous in hats and you should indeed where them wherever and whenever you wish. I love the photo of your mother. Happy Pink Saturday. ~Marti

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    1. Happy Pink Saturday to you! Thank you for coming by.

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  21. Well this gal is definately a Hat Lady. I'm in the Red Hat Society and have around 20 or so from pillbox to big lavish ones with netting and feathers. It's my chance to wear them quite a lot. I love all your examples, wish I could go to the Kentucky Derby---I would be right in fashion.

    Ann

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    1. WOW - so many hats! I bet you look divine in all of them. Thank you for coming by.

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  22. Now your Mom is stylin' I tell ya! So pretty and I love that dress. HPS and thanks for a grin today. xo

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    1. Happy Pink Saturday to you too - Mom was really high fashion, wasn't she?

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  23. I always find ladies that wear hats so elegant.


    My Pink, have a great weekend!

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    1. Happy Pink Saturday to an elegant lady herself. Always love visiting your blog.

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  24. I love all the ads!

    Happy pink Saturday, Happy Derby Day and ¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

    Please stop by and enter my celebrate spring/moms giveaway.

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    1. Not much for entering things but very big on visiting commenter's blog so be over to right away.

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  25. Oh Helen, you always crack me up! Loved your hatstory today. Beautiful finish with the beautiful pic of your Mom.

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  26. That was a wonderful and humorous dissertation on hats.

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