Dear Helen Hartman,
I wanted to ask you a question regarding hat etiquette. I am currently working on a resource for my first fashion blog ( http://fedoras.com/blog/) that will highlight rules ladies should know regarding hat etiquette (including fashionable hats such as fedoras and top hats). For example, are there situations where it's appropriate to wear your hat indoors and others when not? What types of occasions would you say are appropriate to wear a fedora to? Any tip you can provide with regards to hat etiquette is much appreciated; I'm still learning the ropes.
Dear Fedora-Loving One,
Helen loves hats.
|Cold Cream in her soap and a lead-pipe scepter hidden in her rose bouquet. This was pageant pro you did not want to upstage in the talent round. Not if you valued you baton twirling fingers.|
What? A Tiara is to a hat... if you are a Queen, which, of course, Helen is. And let’s get real, would a Queen (Helen) care about than ‘what ladies should know’ about acceptable headwear behavior?
|Loretta Gale Goodbody, queen of the wild frontier, never gave a hoot about fashion dos and don't. But she did give a Yee-haw when cowboys asked to get a close look at that fancy stitching on her shirt.|
That means Helen is probably a very bad resource to ask about “Hatiquette”. If, however, you want to learn a thing or two about “Hattitude”, have you ever come to the right place!
|This year's Derby Hart, same old attitude.|
Perfect for PINK SATURDAY
First, I must confess I know or care little about the ‘rules’ for men, other than there are times and places when wearing a hat is just not right.
|Since they didn't wear hats in the steam room, when the club went coed, Sam suggested they take off their towels when a lady entered. Here they are waiting for the first one to arrive so they can show her their charm and manners.|
As for the rules for women? The first and only rule as far as I'm concerned is...
|Never talk about Hat Club.|
No, it's if you want to have hattitude, you have got to have a GREAT hat.
|Nana, tourist, cop on beat, who has the hat that's really neat? I DO! I DO! I DO! Maria couldn't help it. When she looked this good, 'window wishing' brought out her compulsion for trash talking.|
You must wear a hat in a way that let’s everyone know who you are:
|Wearing a Nurse's Cap tells people "I'm in charge". |
Making a Nurse's cap out of toilet paper tell's people "I'm in charge... of my own little world".
And what you want.
|I want a hot young stud to lift me in his strong, sinewy arms and carry me up my stairs and... That's it. I just have a really difficult time with those stairs.|
Sometimes a bad choice of hats tells people more about you than anything you say or do.
|"Should we tell Phyllis she's wearing a sock on her head again?"|
Of course, if you have the right outlook, a clever and confident lady can make anything work to her advantage.
I guess, like most things in fashion, in life, and in vaccum-sealed, quart-sized thermoses (in more than one way if you think about it), it’s not what you see that makes it work, it’s what’s inside.
So go back inside and put your best hat on. No matter what you face today, you can always plead insanity – and the judge will take one look at that hat and allow it.
Of course, no matter what you have in your thermos or your your hat box you will never look as cool as this:
|Ida Maxine Barrett Shorter (my mom)|