The Fabulous Holly from 2911 Jeremiah Avenue (fun blog, go visit) writes:
Dear Helen Hartman
I had to write to you because I’m feeling, well…I’m feeling just a bit traumatized. I was at an “event” tonight and recognized someone from their facebook picture and thought I’d go up and say hello. I mean, after 30 years, it’s the right thing to do, right?! Apparently, my facebook picture did not jog any memory in her. Could it be that my picture of 3 years ago is outdated? Could it?! Could it also be that some parts of my body have gone south where others have gone east AND west?!
Is it also possible that while I have grown with this idea that others have not and are perhaps caught a wee bit off guard?!
Why is it that when we haven’t seen someone for awhile that as they are saying, “it’s nice to see you” that they are also looking you up and down and taking copious mental notes on “seeing you.” Yes, Helen, I am a little bit cranky about the whole thing. I would love YOUR response as I am in need of a little humor about now.
Dear Loves the North, The East, The West and South of You One,
A sense of humor? About such behavior? I just don’t know if I can find it in myself.
|Not because I don’t have it in me, because I can’t find anything these days. Have you seen my car keys?|
For that reason Helen doesn’t blame people for the occasional hiccup in memory or even a brief gulp before responding to others but this falls into the category or big old burp in the face of manners! And that will not stand. Not on Helen’s watch.
Yes, Helen is watching. Not so much watching as sticking her nose in to get a good look at what you are doing so she can tell others what NOT to do.
|There he is, Mom. I told you there was someone out there who was more of a disappointment to his folks than me. Now get off my back.|
I believe I’ve mentioned before that Manners matter.
|Esp when you need to know which fork to stab your dinner partner with when he reaches over to sample your desert (Correct: biggest fork handy. Incorrect: fork you want to use to shovel said desert into your mouth.)|
No, not the Amy V brand of manners about how to address everyone from ambassadors to your neighbor’s servants but the manners that make life more pleasant. The things that spare our feelings and often our hair.
|Tip 1 for attending parties where bad manners may be an issue? Wear your best $12 wig, that way when the hair pulling starts, you will have a leg up on everyone. |
Tip 2 - having a leg up on someone is a great way to get leverage to pull their hair.
Yes. Helen is talking about the lynchpin of human interaction. The little white lie.
|"But Mommy, isn't lying bad?" "The way most people do it, yes, it is."|
Helen is not encouraging anyone to become a big fat liar. Though she has seen you in pants she thought should probably be set on fire.
|Once the cry of Liar Liar goes out, these brave individuals are at the ready because when pants that size go up, it could take out an entire city block.|
But when faced with situations where it would cost you nothing to be kind, (or even ones when it does cost you, come to think of it) kindness wins.
Manners are the art of making others feel at ease. They are not reserved for fancy occasions or only for guests in your home. You take them with you everywhere you go and by doing so make sure people always feel ‘at home’ in your presence.
|Please note: Feeling at home around Helen is NOT permission to act like your true self around Helen. People who have glimpsed your true self often long for the great big phony they used to know.|
So in the social interchange where someone lacks the basic human decency to lie to your face, Holly has no reason to feel badly. Of course, that doesn’t mean once the slight was slid… slighted? Once the doors were open, Holly couldn’t employ the LWL to gently nudge the situation and remind the other party to start Mannering it up. Things like:
Don’t feel bad about not recognizing me. At your age, I suppose there are days you don’t even know who you are.
Maybe I don’t look like my facebook photo. But I’d have known you anywhere from yours! Oh, that was your cat? Hmmmm. Still…
That’s okay. I Have changed over the years. But you? You look just the same. I guess that’s why everyone always called you Old Lady in high school.
So let this all be a warning to you, Loved Ones, next time you go out and about, be ready with a few harmless LWLs in case you run into someone you know… but you don’t have the foggiest idea how. Remember Helen is watching.
Taking a whack at Wow Us Wednesday