Thursday, May 10, 2012

Getting Things Right Since... Always.


Dear Helen Hartman
Today in the bookstore I can across a book called French Kids Eat Everything and it made me sick. No not a comment on the book or the author, who I am sure is a lovely, well intentioned person, but I couldn’t help thinking “Great, yet ANOTHER indictment once again on my many failures as a mother.”  Love to hear what Helen thinks is the right way to handle kids and feelings of not getting it right.

Dear Didn’t Ask for a Two-Part Answer But Surely Will Love One One,

Why do you care what a stranger might think of you?

Louise thought Connie was a trashy, man-hungry, bottle blonde. How she wished she could be one too.

I know, the message to care about this is reinforced by images and media and even moms everywhere but then again – aren’t moms the one’s who often negate peer pressure with clich├ęs like “If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do it too?”

Isn't there more to that cliche? MY mom used to add - Where IS this bridge? Do you need a ride to it? 

Maybe that’s what’s the real issue here – we live a life filled with mixed messages!

That's right, Suzie, you can get totally bent at your party - as long as you stay perfectly pressed.


What we thought was smart and life-affirming one day, we are told is going to send us to hell us the next.

If I had a dime for every man who thought that about me... well, I'd be able to afford a real hairdresser instead of going to One-armed Arnie at Chez Flippidy-Do-Dah Day Spa and Bowling Alley, that's for sure.  

It’s no wonder each new trend in parenting, dieting, fashion and health leaves us feeling confused and our confidence shaken. Have we been doing it ‘wrong’ all along? What will be the fall out of our actions?

So be sure to sleep in your cone bra to make sure 'fall out' never, ever happens to you!

Well, just Let Helen assure you… 

Yes. Yes, you have gotten it wrong.

NO, I am NOT being judgmental. Not THIS time. 
We all have gotten it wrong from time to time. Even Helen.

Helen watches the clocks and hums the Jeopardy song while she waits for you to awaken from your shocked swoon over that wee bit of news.

And here’s the big news – you will get it wrong again.

Trust Helen on this - she saw what you wore to the Christmas party.

The even bigger news?  Those so called experts get it ‘wrong’ all the time too. The biggest news of all is – if we are getting it wrong now and then, we’re getting it right.

Warning Helen says doing wrong is the same as doing right  is not recommended as a valid legal defense.

Wanting to do better, learning, trying new things and adapting to find what works for us is the real secret to good parenting, dieting, fashion or anything.

So relax.

What do you mean Relax? I AM relaxed. Can't you see I've allowed my wife to rest her hand lightly on my shoulder? 

I doesn’t matter what French kids eat. It matters what nourishes you and your family. Find that and you’ll be okay.


But if you are a parent, you might want to start a fund for when those kids are grown up.


For their therapy? No, for an extended cruise to a far away place where you can’t hear them whining about all the mistakes you made raising them! 


Joining Inspiration Friday At The Picket Fence

37 comments:

  1. The one good thing about those stiff cone bras is that they acted like a kickstand...so you could wear one after a cocktail party and have no fear of rolling off if the bed started to spin.

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    1. Bwahahaha - i LOVE it Dana. Now I will imagine 19503 women everywhere upheld off the ground by their cones, happily singing "Show me the way to go home...."

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  2. LOL-- What a fun post- Don't you LOVE how the kids of today blame EVERYTHING that goes wrong on their parents? It makes me realize why some mothers eat their young at birth....xo Diana

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    1. LOL Diana - let that be a warning to children everywhere!

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  3. I read your posts every day! You always make me laugh! "One armed Arnie at the Zippity-doo-dah bowling alley and day spa!" Bwahahahaha!

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    1. Thanks Lynn! You may well laugh but a few years ago we had a local spot called the Worm and Perm - bait shop and hair salon!

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  4. I read ALL of part two...and then part one of this discussion. Do I win the cruise?

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  5. Oh, and I raised FOUR sons...in SEVEN years, I had FOUR boys....do I get an extended cruise?

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    1. Oh MY! You should take a cruise and THEY should pay for it!

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    2. I'll give them a link to your blog and tell them to take your advice! heehee!

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  6. Dear Aunt Helen, I hope you don't mind me calling Aunt. Just this once. I had an aunt Helen in my life. I laughed at your wit...so funny. we need that daily. Smiles to you, Susie

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    1. LOL - I am an Aunt many times over so I don't mind. Though I do think when Auntie Helen comes out things are usually about to go awry. Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. You got me with those vintage clocks....LOVE. THEM!!! Maybe it IS time for a cruise!!!

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    1. Aren't they FAB? They were in a very mid mod mad antique mall in Cincinnati.

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  8. Hello Helen:
    Oh, why do you wait until now to inform us about the 'maidenform' bra and Dri-Smooth cotton frocks?!!! Our lives are now in tatters knowing what we have been missing for all these years, not to mention the sleepless nights we have had and the ruined parties through having the wrong sort of dress. We have clearly been a laughing stock from all those in the know, it is a miracle that we are not scarred for life.....no matter, it has all been character building, we are sure. Now, can you please book two extra seats on that cruise...we DESERVE it!!!

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    1. My heart goes out to you - though it will have a difficult time getting out from that Maidenform. You must know that it's what's in the outfit, not the smoothness of said outfit that makes all the difference. Yes, it HAS been character building, look at what fine characters we have become.

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  9. I think you are a little to attached to the Christmas Tree Hat. I think there is therapy for that, oh yeah, it's blogging!

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    1. LOL - I am going to make one for next Christmas season!

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  10. Thank you for posting this. It’s exactly what I was looking for!

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    1. You're welcome.Thank you for visiting.

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  11. I can remember when we were encouraged to wear a bra to bed to prevent sagging in our later years. Heck of a lot of good THAT did!!!! I don't know where you find these pictures, but each one is funnier than the last! What a new world we live in...thank goodnes!!!!

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    1. Alycia - I had a stack of old magazine, just a few then I started posting pics and suddenly everywhere I go I find new and interesting magazine in GREAT shape and cheap - just like me, except I'm not in good shape. It's so fun to see what changes and what doesn't.

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  12. I see the light now... One armed Arnie has been my problem all along:@)

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    1. LOL. I just can't think of any other reason for a hairdo that skewed to one side.

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  13. I was wondering where the "French kids" food habits was going.....hahaha great end!

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    1. Thanks - I talked about the food/French kids angle early in the week.

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  14. What a fun, fabulous blog you have here! :) I'm so happy you found me, so I could discover it!

    This advice is perfect. You're so right, there is no exact formula for anything, especially raising kids. I don't take all those self-help books very seriously. There's no point in moping in a state of guilt, confusion, and low self-esteem simply because someone who wrote a book does things differently than you. Lol.

    I hope you have a great weekend!

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    1. Thanks for coming by Jennifer - and thanks for the thoughts. I adore it when people agree with me. Good weekend to you too.

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  15. Well said! Have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend! :)

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  16. You so made my day....again! Thanks for memories! Happy Mother's Day, Helen!

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    1. Thanks Holly, I am still steaming over your question and will tackle it next. Happy Mother's Day to you too.

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  17. Wow! Your blog is doing fantastic! Happy to see you doing so well . .

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    1. Thanks - I love it so much when I see you posting. Please find more cool stuff and share!!!

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  18. YUP. I'm saving money not for college but for all of their therapy bills.

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