Thursday, June 21, 2012

Bare the Heat? Be Cool, Baby.


Dear Helen Hartman,
The heat is on – and my clothes are about to come off! More and more I see people wearing less and less, short shorts, teeny tanks and people shopping in their swimsuits… Yes, SWIMSUITS! They were wearing cover-ups, I’ll grant you but they were cover-ups in name only. They covered almost nothing, which coincidently was what these people were wearing! Blame them? I am ready to join them! Love some tips on how to dress cool before I blow my top… and bottom!

Dear Loving to Bare it All One,
Asking Helen how to dress cool is a bit like asking a fashion model how to field dress a deer.

I could do it! And my hair would stay lustrous and soft the whole time. Mists hair with lanolin from sheep I shot myself in between takes on Slaughter on Tenth Avenue, which just screams soft Hollywood hair for all, doesn't it?

But faced with prospect of people stripping down to their birthday suits? Let’s face it some of our suits could use a little tidying up… not to mention a good shrinking and maybe something to iron out the wrinkles...

Saves time, saves work, gives results beyond compare... is that guy talking about Niagara or Viagra? If the starch in your collar lasts more than 6 hours seek help from your laundryman immediately!

Oh, dear, all this is giving me visions of things better left unseen. While Helen irons the wrinkles out of her cock-eyed and crumpled mind the way she knows best

More time for FUN, when you fill your iron with RUM! I don't even pretend to be ironing anything, just sit here all day drinking straight from the steam spout!

 Let’s look for a useful and fashionable answer at iconic local Louisville Vintage Clothier, The Nitty Gritty,

Tell me the truth, you are, at this instant, trying to mapquest how to get here, aren't you?  Well, you SHOULD be!
 Here the lovely and retro-fantastic manager Amy can offer a little guidance

Aloha, Amy!

Amy tells me much of their inventory comes from people looking to liquidate estates. I'd sure melt to find these goodies! 

I want this dress but I'd have to be dead a month to fit into it... so, Amy, come the Zombie Apocalypse, hold this one back for me, 'kay?

As for feeling cool, well, Helen contends that when you look good you feel good but I know some of you will still insist that you’d rather be comfortable.

COMFORT? Zis eez NOT how we do theengs in Paris! One must suffer for one's beauty. The way I feel in this outfit, I must be BREATHTAKING.

The only pain Helen is putting up with is stomping on the feet of men who try to dictate women's fashions.  
So why not do comfort retro style instead? Go all Liz Taylor in a slip ala Maggie the Cat or Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha in her nightie in Bewitched. 

Pink, Pinker, Pinkest!

Can Can, anyone?

NO, not the kind that holds a Beer, Beer! You have been around Helen too long, you're starting to think like her... and that can't be good for anyone.

Try layers of netting to make your summer cotton dress stand out, and away from your body, letting the cool air circulate in those places where your mama would tell you that’s ALL that should be circulating.


"And then he says to me, "Baby, what Mama don't know won't hurt her!" so the next thing  I know I got can-can ruffles around my..."

Go naked?  How would you accessorize? Very Carefully, of course.

You laugh but for 1957 this was wearing practically nothing. Nudity wasn't even invented until the 60's you know!

But accessorize we MUST! We are not animals, Loved Ones!

Speak for yourself, says store 'house'cat Itty Bitty Kitty.

Though if you must go around in your swimsuit and cover-up, accessories might do the trick to take it from tacky to…












Okay, it would still be tacky but at least people might think you were making an effort… or in the parlance of the American South that you were bat$#!t crazy just a tad eccentric.

See, you can dress cool even when it’s hot outside! You think Helen is looking at the world through rose colored glasses? Well, she COULD be, because they sell them at The Nitty Gritty!




I can’t think of a COOLER way to be.

Thank you Amy for showing me around. The Nitty Gritty is just one reason I think y’all should all come visit Louisville… but keep your clothes on, please!


Linking to: Nifty Thrifty Friday
Pink Saturday

36 comments:

  1. Love the multi-color can can. The Nitty Gritty looks like a great place.

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    Replies
    1. I didn't even show all the hats and the men's dept upstairs!

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  2. Too dang funny, Helen! I prefer clothes, thank you very much! However, doing something fun with accessories could make for an interesting afternoon!
    xo
    Holly

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    Replies
    1. A scarf places just so, who knows, you might become a summer streaker!

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  3. Love that layered netting to keep my dress way from my skin in the summer heat... I might have to consider that. I could loose all the excess weight by slowly stewing myself in layers of netting...I would do it with those sunglasses on of course.

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    1. I hadn't considered that. I wonder if all those clothes women wore in the past were an exercise and sauna all in one? No wonder they had those tiny waists!

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  4. I'm moving there, Nitty Gritty would make my head explode is I lived nearby! Those sunglasses are awesome and I love the manager's kaftan! sure beats a swimsuit. I think I need to go shopping today in a wet suit, it hasn't stopped raining for days and there's flood alerts all over the country! x

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    Replies
    1. I thought of you there - you could actually wear some of the more wonderful things that Amy and I lamented had itty bitty waist sizes.

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  5. What a fabulous store. I'd seriously be playing dress-up there.

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    Replies
    1. I could imagine your girls going wild with the walls of hats!

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  6. Wonderful visit! I could go flat broke in there... Amy looks like a darling girl, and the orange cat had me at "MEOW" :))

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    1. The kitty really, really is itty bitty. Amy says they think it is about 18 yrs old.

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  7. Dear Helen. Please run back to that place and buy me that multicolored petticoat. I will reimburse you. Make sure it's a LARGE. Oh, and the nightgown and a pair of size seven maribou feathered slippers. THANKS!

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    Replies
    1. Good news - Amy says they may soon start an ETSY shop! I hope when she says that she's quicker than I am to get around to it, because I've been thinking about one for a year.

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  8. The Nitty Grityy sounds like such a fun place to shop. And the vintage fashion ads are pure eye candy. Thanks so much for your kind comment and for dropping by L'Heure Bleue At Home.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for coming by - Happy Pink Saturday.

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    2. ABSOLUTELY loved this post. You had me smiling all the way, especially about accessorizing very carefully when in our birthday suits. hahaha LOVE the sunglasses. I'll take one of each, please. ;)
      Thank you for stopping by the "shop." Following now.

      PS-Glad you liked the cookie. When I first saw them, my jaw dropped.

      Happy Pink!
      Marcia

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    3. Your blog is a total charm! Thanks for visiting back.

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  9. What a cool post. Staying cool is not a problem far me. I have have always been cold natured all my life.

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    Replies
    1. I melt. Isn't it funny how we each respond differently to our environment - hubby loves summer, I love fall and winter.

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  10. It's all fun and games until someone stands between me and those pink sunglasses.

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    Replies
    1. LOL - I can see you grabbing them like Golum with His Precious ring!

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  11. Oh Helen, you tickle me. Not too hot here yet. I've always been able to stand the heat a little more than the cold. However, you will not find me shopping in a swim suit no matter how hot it gets. That's one thing no one would enjoy seeing. lol! Thanks for the good laugh.
    Hugs,
    Jann

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    Replies
    1. I Kid you not it's an epidemic around here! I mean I've seen a bunch of women doing it, and their kids - I suspect they are running in to get snacks or sun screen before the pool, at least I HOPE so.

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  12. Oh, forgot to say that I would so love to hang out at the Nitty Gritty!
    Jann

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  13. I would love to be there .Fun Fun Fun
    You are so Cool
    Have a fun week end Seeing all this I know you will
    Laura

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    Replies
    1. It's already in the works - daughter and I off on an adventure!!! Thanks for coming by.

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  14. Absolutely gorgeous! Happy pink Saturday.

    Come and see my PINK entry, when you get a chance, thanks!

    PS.. I am now following your blog, it would be delightful if you can follow my family blog too, thank you!

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  15. Oh, those are cool Pink stuffs:)

    Visiting for Pink Saturday- hope you can stop by..

    http://www.sweetposh.info/2012/06/pink-swimsuit.html

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  16. Your sight is really cool. I love all the photos and the swimsuit shopping idea, is not something I enjoy watching but see often in Arizona. Happy pink.

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  17. Thanks Y'all - glad you stopped by!

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  18. Giggles! TY for the walk down memory lane. Oh, my! Did I say that?

    Come join our cause for Zoe, I deeply appreciate this.

    TTFN ~
    Hugs,
    Marydon

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  19. Okay, I confess, I am still stuck with the image of the Victoria Secret models doing a field dressing! But, I love the patterned pumps! Have you watched the "Next Food Netword Star"? I swear, everytime I see the blond girl who does "Retro Rad" cooking I think of you! Thanks for sharing at TTF and have a great day!

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  20. I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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