Thursday, June 28, 2012

Grown ups? Summer Just Big Kids!


Dear Helen Hartman,
I love my kids but this summer’s heat has them cooped up inside more than usual. I’m trying to limit their time online and in front of the TV so now the house is a wreck and I’m starting to count corndogs as a serving of vegetables. Love some suggestions for how to survive the season with a gaggle of bored kids.

Dear Loved-and-Now-Has-the-Houseful-of-Kids-to-Prove-It-One,
Now see here, you can't get much more grown up than me, can you? I'll be your host for the grown up portion of this Pink Saturday post and I endorse the grown up lifestyle.
The years of young children driving her up the wall are past for Helen. And while I do sometimes wistfully remember those days, I admit a bit guiltily that I enjoy my grown-up lifestyle.


I enjoy eating grown up food.

"If I slip you a $5 will you sneak me some of whatever you're having at the kiddie table? I can't take another one of your mom's special 'cold salmon with a big quivering glob of mayo on top'."
Helen has to go wash her mouth out with chocolate just looking at that mess.
Okay, maybe not so much that but I do like drinking grown up drinks.

New find - vintage gold-toned ice bucket and cocktail glass holder. I added Mason Jar glasses and glass canister for an ice bucket.
Perfect for Thrifty Things Friday since it cost $5 for the carrier and I had the rest.

I know you thought Helen’s first answer would be: Drink until you fall down and stay there until hubby shows up to do his part.
(Funny, that’s how I BECAME a mom)

"Knitting for a little one? How far along are you?"
 "Oh, I'm not pregnant but as soon as your back is turned, we're joining the mile high club so here's hoping!"

Even Helen knows that is a very bad idea.  I mean, really, how helpful is hubby going to be anyway? You need to call in the big guns.

The trap was set. As soon as the kids went inside, she'd zip it up and drag it away to release them into their natural habitat - Grandma's house.

If Grandma is busy - or in hiding -  don’t despair.  The key is simply to keep children occupied.


Buying a pink dishwasher was really paying off. Little Cissy thought it was a toy and didn't let Mom near it. The driveway needs repaving so later today Mom is going shopping for a pink cement mixer!

Of course at some point your kids may rebel against all that housework and/or find the number of the authorities who will probably make you cut the child labor down to only a few hours a day. So to fill the rest of their time you may want to consider structured activities.


Structured? You mean like a straight-jacket? Because that may be my only hope for getting some peace to get my blog written.

No, I mean like the things suggested in The Rand McNalley Book of Favorite Pastimes. 


Yes, Helen has a vintage baton. Don't you? 

If you'd rather not arm provide your child with a rubber-tipped metal stick then have you considered sending her to the barre? 


Nothing like a ballet class to keep a kid on her toes. Yes, I said it and you read it and now you can't unread it.

Or finding a more constructive way to ‘horse around’?

This part was about 'horsemanship' but doesn't that poster over his desk look strangely like those charts of prime cuts in butcher's shops?

Well, there’s always the pool...

Virgil and Polly rehearse for the newest Olympic Event - Synchronized Wading. 

What do you mean these suggestions are stuffy and unimaginative? Keep in mind I could have used the entertaining book I found today as a reference wherein a children’s cook out party looks like this:

It was bad enough that Kathie wore than same outfit as Samantha, right down to the pom poms in her hair... but when she started flirting with Samantha's date? She was just asking for a face full of ginger ale.

Did children ever behave like these angels? I never did. My own didn’t either.

We ran through sprinklers, drew with chalk on the sidewalks, pitched a tent and camped out in the den, chased each other around, got filthy and laughed until we fell down. Then laughed some more.

My daughter at the State Fair in days gone by.
Kids will be kids and summer is the time to make memories that will stay with them their whole lives long. So what if your house isn’t tidy or dinner is served on a stick? Let them have fun – and don’t be afraid to join them. 

Don’t tell Cary Grant that Helen said this - but sometimes, especially in the summer, being a grown up is totally overrated! 


Joining At The Picket Fence for Inspiration Friday.
And Vintage Inspiration at Common Ground
ALSO Potpourri Friday at 2805

40 comments:

  1. I DO have a vintage baton. Dang, where is that thing!? I hope no one threw it away...I'll have a fit. I'd forgotten about it. Now I'm going to be obsessed with finding it. If it's in the attic, I may never know if it's still in my possession. I'm kind of afraid of the attic. Never know what's lurking up there. Whatever it is could have carted away or nibbled the remaining treasures. I wonder if I can get one of the kids to go up there. They always used to think it was cool when they were little. They don't have to know about MY fears. Let them aqcuire their own through their own life experiences, right?
    Liz

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    1. Yes, you're not using your kids to do what you don't like, you're giving them the chance to grow as people. It's your job as a mom - and if they return with a baton you can reward them with some fancy twirlin'!

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  2. Aw...I love your style! You are almost as crazy as I am-almost- xo Diana

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    1. Almost? Oh no, being number 2 now I'll have to try harder!

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  3. everything dear helen says is completely true folks. live by it. amen. xo

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    1. Thank you. With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility comes the great need for wine.

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  4. Performing seances and orienteering are also guaranteed hits with the kids. Just don't forget to give them compasses for the latter - oh, oops!

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    1. HA! Yes, those are good, scare the little darlings, send them into the woods, both good ways to get some quiet time for mommy!

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  5. So true about teaching children! Great thrifty find in the bucket and cocktail holder! Loved the post and appreciate you sharing it at Potpourri Friday

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    1. Thanks - it is fun to join you in your linky party.

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  6. Love the pic of your daughter! Looks like lots of fun:@)

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    1. It's one of my all time favs of her - she was having a great time.

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  7. That horse picture DOES look like one in a butcher shop! Yikes!!! Love the picture of your daughter...such joy!!!

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    1. Thanks - it was one of those just the right moment ones that you never get tired of seeing. Esp if you know what a grump she usually is :)

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  8. Great retro images! and I LOVE how you used the vintage drink service! Perfect for an outdoor get together. Do you think Cary would drink from a mason jar? Thank you for sharing this with us at TTF. I hope you have a fantastic day!

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    1. Cary has such class he'd drink from a Mason Jar and make it look like a martini glass. Sigh. Why don't they make stars like him anymore?

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  9. I love the trap! I will certainly try that, except grandma is kind of far so I will need to find them another natural habitat....

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    1. Maybe an unsuspecting neighbors who also has kids - of course she may trap her kids and drag them back with yours!

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  10. Thanks for the laughs! The photo of your daughter is priceless. It needs to be made poster size and put up in your "wreck room".

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    1. Thanks! We do have a blow up of it framed on the wall.

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  11. Love you and your craziness!

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    1. Thanks, me and my craziness feel the same about you. Only my craziness is also a bit stalky, so be careful.

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  12. You are fun and it just makes me even more happy that I never had a maternal instinct! x

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    1. LOL - I ADORE my kids but I totally get the non-mama drama deal. Everyone keeps asking me if I look forward to being a grandma and I think - on what planet? I know grandkids are amazing but grand nieces and nephews are better because you don't just spoil them and hand them back, you spoil them, give them back and don't have to deal with any whining from your own kids about it.

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  13. Cary Grant was a looker, wasn't he? Someone once told me that when they noticed handsome men that they were just enjoying God's creation!
    I love drinking out of mason jars, the interior of that plane looks vaguely familiar, and I love your ideas of summer fun! I think making tents with sleeping bags draped between two card tables was my most favorite. Happy Summer, Helen!

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    1. That's a cool one! I used to crumple tin foil in a cookie sheet, drape it with red Christmas lights then use paper towel rolls to look like logs to make a fake fire when we camped inside.
      You made me go back and look at the plane - omg, did they have wallpaper???

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  14. Another knee-slappin', hilariously good one!!! Oh, but you bring tears to my eyes!!!!! Have a good weekend!

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  15. I always enjoy visiting with you. I am always in a better mood after reading your posts. Thanks for bringing back so many summer memories with my now grown children.
    Have a blessed weekend. Ginger

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    1. Aww, Ginger, I bet you made summer super special. Have a lovely weekend.

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  16. Ah to be a kid again! But then I couldn't drink till I fell down and let the hubs find me!!!
    What a fun post - here's to an unboring summer!
    Kelly

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    1. Same to you -the more unboring the better. I think.

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  17. Helen Hartman, you're one funny lady. I wish you were my neighbor so I could send my kids over to your house, thus answering the question: What to do with the kids this summer.

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    1. LOL - Send your kids over? You'd only do it once. Not because Helen is mean to kids - Helen is worse. She spoils them crazy rotten. How you gonna keep them down on the couch once they've seen Helen's house??

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  18. Well I almost didn't get past the fish and mayo! But I gagged through & so glad I did. It's always worth the *grin*. Summertime here is at "Grama Vic's house!". Every kid in the neighborhood in the pool along with my granddaughter & I love em all. However, sometimes I do wish I had that zip up cabana! The pic of your daughter is smashingly adorable! BTW, nice beverage server - where's the still? I can be there by happy hour ;- )
    ~Vickie~

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    1. Dear Sponge Curlers and Cupcakes, I'll meet you at Helen's for happy hour. I think we'll have to bring our own beverages because she just agreed to watch all my kids so you and I can sit on the patio in peace with a quart of drinks. Isn't she a great gal? Hopefully, she's all out of mayo when it comes lunchtime.

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  19. LOL we loved this post, just make sure Grandma's house has plenty to do otherwise they'll be on the blower whining like crazy or worse back banging on your front door!

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  20. that was so fun to read and look at !
    Thanks for the ride

    -KAT-

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  21. Oh my goodness. This is got to be one of my all time favorite posts. I'm still getting caught up after being unplugged for a week. This was just perfect. Happy Summer!

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  22. Thank you ALL - I went off for a short trip and forgot my laptop! Now am trying to figure out how to catch up too!

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