Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Now Here's a Crapht Load!


Greetings, Loved Ones! It’s that once in a blue moon time I know you all look forward too!
The day you crush up those pills you've been saving and feed them to Helen in a mango-rice pudding smoothie?
Oh, yeah, like anything you've got would even slow Helen down. Nope, guess again.

Time to get lit up like a cowboy sock monkey at Christmas?

Like Helen would only limit that to once in a blue moon!

More like once in a Blue Nun.  

What better state to be in when it’s time for --
Auntie Helen’s Crapht Corner!
Auntie Helen's Crapht Corner where our motto is - if your project doesn't come together the way you want, eh, screw it.  

No, this is not just some lazy excuse for taking a break from telling people how to stop annoying the pee-waddin' out of Helen being a beacon of common sense to the world. I honestly think everyone needs a creative outlet.


You can paint, even if you can't walk a straight line. Or stand up, apparently. 

Okay, that’s it with the drinking jokes. I mean, how much drinking could a person do and still be able to create something so attractive, so useful, so…

Wrongity, Wrong, WRONG WRONG!

Yikes-A-Hootie, Y'all! How did that happen? The magazine promised Knit Wits were -

I think they meant the actual number of people who would enjoy these - more than 8 but definitely fewer than 80.

Helen can’t believe it. It came from such a trusted source.


The year was 1962. It would be decades before Hoarders hit the airwaves. When that time came... Judy would be ready.

I honestly think Helen could do better on her own. Altered Art anyone?

You know they don’t call it that because you make it when you’re in an altered state, right?

Oh. Well, still… maybe I can make something with one of my weekend finds -- $2



Yes, it’s a reprint but still… $2. I hear your cry: I never get deals like that. Jealous? I’d say there’s no reason to be, but then I’d be a big fat liar.

And you know Helen is nothing if not fashionable so she CAN'T be a big FAT liar. You can't argue with that logic. Well, you can, but you can't win because this is a blog and if you argue with a blog people will wonder about you. Yes, more than they already do.
So go, weep into your fancy paperdolls costing upwards of $2.59. Helen will wait.

Wait? Ha! Helen is actually dancing around the room with her Myrna Loy paperdoll, laughing.  

Get the medication. When she wears herself out, you can ‘help’ her take it more easily.
But be careful, she bites.
All better now? MUCH! So much so that I have pushed the horrors of Knit-Wittery into the darkened recesses of my musty mind. And while I was back there I found an idea that deserves to see the light of day. Remember when I was feeling low and thought my mind needed a little uplifting, just some good old fashioned support?  Well, nothing is impossible to she who owns a glue gun...


Behold the beauty that is… The Bullet-Bra Bonnet!


It's  classy. It's simple.  It's Helen's own kind of elegant - it's Helegant!

Not to worry – no real bras (esp vintage ones) were harmed in the creation of these cup caps, Loved Ones. It’s a plastic football hat spray painted white and trimmed with lace. I made two because… well, you’d have to make two, wouldn’t you? Otherwise, it might end up looking kind of silly!


I've heard of being too big for your britches, but too big for your bra hat?
The only point to making a bullet-bra bonnet may be on top of it but the project was a hoot, so...
I guess if I had to draw this all together (and as we now know, anyone can draw, so let's give it a try) I'd say the lesson for today is if you find something that gives you joy, that gets your creative juices going, that allows you to share those things with others - go for it. 
Even if it drives you to make a boob of yourself. 


Joining Wow Us Wednesday
and Wow Me Wednesday too

38 comments:

  1. You crack us up! THAT is a riot....and I'm wondering now if I should make many to take to my son's football games for the other mothers ~ bahahaha!!! Oh, I'm sure he would LOVE that :) Thanks for the idea!!

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    1. I got them at a craft store (Michaels) - I was going to go all party hat cone but these were perfect and less work to make look like a bra.

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  2. Hello Helen:
    We are inspired! Possibly recycling bras may be a little beyond us at the start but we are certain that we can get there. In the meantime, we have out the paper, paint, glue, scissors, used lavatory paper rolls, old washing up liquid bottles and we intend to spend a happy afternoon working through all the things which McCall's suggests that we can make, all 251 of them!!

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    1. Oh, the humanity! I would love to see what you create - can you actual replicate the egg carton snakes and totem poles?

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  3. For some reason none of the pics came through on my rotten computer other than the Bullet Bra Bonnet, but it was worth it just seeing that! Hilarious! I can only imagine what other treats you showed, boo hoo.

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    1. Oh - I am so sad. I wonder what's up with that? So happy you saw the bra bonnet, though. I'd hate to think anyone missed THAT!

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  4. fyi...if you put a bra cup on a cats head, he will look Amish. Don't know what he'd look like with a bullit bra cup tho.

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    1. OMG - I HAVE TWO CATS! Cannot wait to check this out. Here kitty, kitty, kitty....

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  5. Those are possibly the funniest things I've ever seen, but what made me laugh even more was your use of the term "pee waddin'," which I haven't heard anybody say since I was a child. My mother used to say that...and I still have no idea what it means! LOL

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    1. LOL Dana - I have no idea what it mean either, but it doesn't sound like something that should be scared out or irritated out of anyone!

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  6. That is one enormous bra, could do with that today, make a great sun hat! x

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    1. Or if you found the lady who could fill that bra, she'd probably provide ample shade for everyone!

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  7. Finally, a post I can identify with - a crapht load of bullet-bra bonnets. Inspired!

    thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks! They really should be sold by the crapht load!

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  8. The bra-hat looks really ... uh ... adorable ...
    Yes, I think that's the correct word for it (ahem) ...
    Thank you for stopping by!
    Hugs from a place near Vienna / Austria,
    Traude ♥♥♥♥

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    1. Yes, that's the word. So much nicer than nutty!

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  9. Ohahahahahahaha - that hat might just make me look thin enough to be fashionable! The only thing better than one bra hat, is two...too bad you can't figure out a way to wear them both at the same time! And I should hate you - $2.00 for Myrna Loy! - but you've given me the best laugh I've had in a week...thanks, Helen - Happy Tuesday!

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    1. Thanks for coming by - I intend to make my cousin wear the other hat so we can be boobs together!

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  10. Dadgum it...forgot to put on my Depends before I started reading this! BIG mistake!!!!! :-)

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    1. LOL- careful what you say around here, there may be a Depends bonnet in your future reading!

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  11. A fun post! I'm thinking, leave the footballs brown, trim them in various team colors and you might just be able to quit the day job!:@)

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    1. What if my day job is making football hats? I suspect I won't ever get to quit.

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  12. Dear Helen, I have been planning a visit and you won me over and now I follow. I need a laugh. Love your profile. I am from the south and Dear Lord a hot dish is required for Red Headed Armeanian's Day here. hugs, Olive

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    1. Welcome Olive - I love, love, love you blog. Thanks for coming by.

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  13. Well, nothing but a booby trapped blog here full of laughs and fun- Did I tell you that I love you old girl? xo Diana

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    1. I can totally see you making one of these and wearing it on one of your adventures!

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  14. Lovely, as usual. Love the hoarder training program. Who knew?

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    1. Every time I start a new crapht or bring home some new find my family assures me it exists and I am in it!

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  15. I love your very fashionable stylin' hat. I was thinking my son's girlfriend might like one to wear at a Raider's game, but then again, she'd be risking her life. I wonder if there will ever be a new collectible market for those Knit Wits. We heard it here first.

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    1. LOL - on the Knit Wit Network! It's the next hot thing. Hot because people buy them to set them on fire.

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  16. Haha - that is the BIGGEST bra I have ever seen. sandie

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  17. Bullet-bra bonnet......had me in splits. Truly hilarious!!

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  18. Bullet-bra bonnet....had me in splits! Truly hilarious or should that be Helarious?!

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  19. You're too funny, DHH! Bullet-bra bonnet...LOL!!

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  20. Dear Santa, I have been a reasonably good girl. It's not my fault I got laid off; it was about the budget, not me. Could I please, please, please have one of those bullet bra hats to wear when I go in my 57? You know I will be the talk of the town and I'll tell everyone where I got it too.

    Love,
    Tammy

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  21. Oh my! Would one of those hats look good at the beach? I've done a lot of crafting over the years but I'm not very original...I copy things! lol OK...trying not to argue with the blog! Happy weekend!

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  22. Great post :) I am hosting a Giveaway to win a 50 dollar gift card to the store HomeGoods. It would be great if you stopped by and entered. Thanks Anu

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  23. Bwa-ha-ah-ha! (I'm just catching up) I think these would be part of the perfect equestrian uniform for the Olympics, although for the men's team you would need black lace trim. It would also make a darling hood ornament for any Benz, Rolls Royce or Bentley - and increase their mileage. Perhaps you have found the answer to the eco-friendly car of the future!! Given this bonnet's magical powers I am wondering if it even lifts and separates your brain? Obviously it does - your humour is in finest form!!! THANKS for this laugh!

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