Monday, July 9, 2012

What's the Buzzzzzz?


Dear Helen Hartman,
I need a hobby. I’m not crafty. I don’t want to be cooped up. Also, I am kinda a klutz, so the thought of me with a glue gun or knitting needles? Better put 911 on speed dial. I do like the idea of doing something that nourishes the soul and maybe nourishes others. So I was thinking naturally… Beekeeping! Naturally… beekeeping, get it? It’s outdoorsy, all natural and there’s honey! Don’t you LOVE it?

Dear Loved One,
I get your thinking. When you want to know about bees, you come to Helen, the Queen Bee.

You were going to say "Because Helen is always half-buzzed, weren't you?"  HA! I resent that. Helen is never HALF anything.

As fun as it might be to send a self-admitted klutz who thinks dialing 911 needs to be speedier and can’t handle a glue gun out to master a whole hive of bees…  

A bee in Helen's actual yard. Yes, they do pose for me, you mean yours don't for you? 

...give me a moment while I picture you running back and forth in a field with a cloud of bees shaped like an arrow chasing you as you frantically stab your finger through the multiple screens needed to speed dial 911.

This woman is not, in fact, being chased by bees but is merely excited about HER hobby  - bowling. Yes, I said bowling. But this is how I think you might look on Day 1 of Beekeeping.



I’m not sure I can, in good conscience, lend my stamp of approval to such a project.

Helen does not actually have a stamp of approval –if she did she would not lend it to anyone, so put that thought right out of your head.

Bee keeping? Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer bee collecting? Or better yet, try what Helen has discovered, 'be' collecting.

"Did she call us what I THINK she called us?"   "Like She's got room to talk - some nerve!"

There is nothing Helen likes better than telling others how to be but it’s so hot today I think I’ll just let some of my newer finds do that for me. Let’s start with this tea towel, a place where many of Helen’s best ideas come from – oh wait, that might be bar towels. Anyway...

Be Modern.



Join a religious order and take up conga drum! It’s hip. It’s fun. All the cool Nuns are doing it!
That is, the ones who aren't Mime herding...

Did you say Mime HERDING or Mime HURTING, because I know some people who  are itching to throw a brick through one of those invisible walls Mimes keep getting trapped in.
Be Original. You want something that nourishes others? Take up Meatloaf sculpting!



Oh wait, you wanted something to get you outdoors. Then you really must follow your heart… and by that I mean Helen’s heart and Be DAZZLING!

Weekend's Estate Sale Finds (not the red glass that was already mine)

Start collecting gorgeous vintage jewelry, pile it on and go outside to let everyone admire you. In other words, just BEE your Fabulous Self!

It’s the perfect hobby for someone who doesn’t want to actually DO anything, don’t you think?  

Best of Luck with whatever you do, and remember if you take up beekeeping anyway and need someone to take the sting out of your new venture, don't come running back to Helen. She will just tell you to buzz off! (with Love, of course!)

46 comments:

  1. Fun, Helen - actually I'm coordinating a homeschool summer field trip to my friend's farm - he's a beekeeper with 5 hives - lots of chuckles with this post.

    Joy!
    Kathy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow - I have no fear of bees but 5 hives is a bit overwhelming! Should be so much fun for the kids.

      Delete
  2. That bee picture is so cool! You are a great photographer. Wow, train meatloaf!! Somebody has some time on their hands. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just let the camera click away! I think they had more than time on their hands! BUT I have several of those bread/cake molds for kids and I am thinking they'd work for this!

      Delete
  3. GREAT post- I think I am going to try that meatloaf train...that is right up there with a potato mountain spewing peas! xo Diana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You could recreate a whole edible town!! Take photos if you do.

      Delete
  4. A meatloaf train? Seriously? I've gotten so lazy about cooking that these days it's hard to get even a plain meatloaf out of me...but the magic of grandmotherhood has made me do other things I swore I'd never do, so I guess anything is possible. Those boys really love trains...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL - it doesn't look difficult, does it? I'm with ya on the no cooking these days but this one might coax me into trying.

      Delete
  5. You are beeeeutiful! Your future hobbyist could always join the ranks of the bloggers - at'll keep him/her busy as a BEE!

    thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good idea! I didn't even think of Be a Blogger - it does keep you busy!

      Delete
  6. I'd make that meatloaf train out of SPAM!!!!
    Love your quirk! (Yes, Quirk.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poi-fect! And decorate with lots of green olives and pineapple! A special kind of chew-chew!

      Delete
  7. Now I've heard it all ... meatloaf train, potatoes spewing peas ... chuckle! Bee-U-tea-ful pics.
    You bring such humor to the day, sweetie.
    Have a beautiful week ~
    TTFN ~
    Marydon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You too. Thanks for stopping in and your kind words.

      Delete
  8. And I thought you had reached meat-sculpting nirvana with Spamcakes! Unfortunately my family would insist on drenching the entire meatloaf in ketchup, and then it would look like the train to Zombieville. Terrific bee picture! Fun to see all the things zinging through your backyard. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can make it for a Halloween treat - Blood on the tracks! The boys would love it.

      Delete
  9. Nothing says playing with your food like a meatloaf train. I guess there's a good excuse for making tracks in my mash potatoes. Your pictures never cease to amaze!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Play with your food, but do not EAT it. Thanks.

      Delete
  10. Helen, The bee tiara is cute. The meat-loaf train , oh so gross. I do like bees. They are our little helpers.Smiles to you, Susie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I like bees too - they really are good for the environment.

      Delete
  11. So THAT'S what was missing from my kids' teen birthday parties, the meat loaf train. I wonder if they're scarred for life. Perhaps if we keep this under our hats, they'll get over it. What do you think?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PLEASE don't keep a meatloaf train under your hat, Karen! I don't think anyone would ever get over that.

      Delete
  12. Bee keeping... didn't see that one coming! Hopefully SHE see's them coming:@)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL _ I've read there is a resurgence is bee keeping in the past 5 years so who knows?

      Delete
  13. So funny! Thanks for visiting me!

    ReplyDelete
  14. My daughter had a co-teacher who quite to be a bee keeper my daughters reaction who does that???? I do think bowling is a great hobby.
    love your crown.
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
  15. I LOVE bowling. I can't imagine quitting teaching to be a bee keeper - maybe if bees made chocolate instead of honey!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Very fun post! =) Thanks so much for dropping by my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Haha! Absolutely NOT doing any BEE-keeping... but I'm all over BE-ING myself...as are you! LOVE you, girl!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks y'all! Gwen - I can totally see you in that bee keeper's headgear!

    ReplyDelete
  19. just to be clear, wearing lots of jewelry is a FINE hobby! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AMEN! Collecting jewelry (In my case vintage for sure) is a fine and noble hobby and wearing it is just a way of sharing your hobby with others.

      Delete
  20. Bwa-ha-ha!! I know that beekeepers use smokers to knock the bees out before they steal their honey. How about putting another kind of smoke in the smoker? How about putting yourself and the smoker in your car and forget about the bees. I think that's called a hot box...? You could take up hot-boxing! Or become a kick-boxer, out of doors, kicking bees. No? How about kicking habits and then that would get rid of the idea of developing a hobby habit in the first place. Now where did I put that smoker...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL. You prove my point bee keeping could lead to bee boxing and who benefits from THAT? No one, that's who! Kicking habits as a hobby is a good idea, but if you are like me as soon as I kick one, another one surfaces. THAT could take over your life.

      Delete
  21. Good Lord, Nuns playing Bongos and then the Meat Loaf Train--girl, it is far too hot here to face such things !
    Dear Helen Hartman, go fix a nice cool Martini and start collecting Martini glasses !
    Love ya--Sierra Sue !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Mahvelous idea! Actually I do have a collection of cocktail shakers - which make lovely iced tea glasses.

      Delete
  22. I can't get over that train meat loaf... Other than the fact that it must have been very dry and doesn't look very appetizing at all, it makes you wonder if the creators loved ones saw this as a warning sign, a reason to be concerned?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL _ the warning sign of that your loved one has gone off the rails:
      1)makes a train out of meatloaf
      Love it.

      Delete
  23. I am so looking into some continuing education classes for "Meatloaf sculpting"! I see a new career and possible a new Food Network show!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course! They'd turn it into one of those competitions: America's Next Great Meatloaf-ist!

      Delete
  24. Interesting post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting.

    ReplyDelete
  25. YOur post made me laugh! Mary over at Mary's Meanderings is raising bees - AND, she is a crafty person to boot! I'm just a wannabee crafter and a nonwannabee bee keeper. I thought of you this week as our local library is getting a facelift and are getting rid of many books...I picked up a few collections of magazines that were bound together from the 50's and 60's. It was fun. I thought that Helen would be proud. =0)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for stopping by y'all!
    Holly -- Helen is NOT proud of your find, Helen is JEALOUS of your find! You will have so much fun flipping through them.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You BE the Queen, Helen - you really are. Thanks for the laughs (been on an extended vacation), not be-ing anything but relaxed. I can't help but chuckle at the thought of having a bunch of one's children's teenage friends over and serving the mealoaf train for dinner!

    ReplyDelete
  28. HairExtensions,KeratinTipped,RemyIndianHumanHair,ITipped,FusionHairExtensions,KeratinGlue,SeamlessTapeHairExtensions,KeratinHairExtensions,EuropeanHair


    ReplyDelete

Loved To Have Their Own Say In Things Ones say:

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...