Well, it’s finally happened, Loved Ones. We all knew it would. It was just a matter of time before Helen solved all the problems in the world.
|As I said to when I saw this –I ain’t buying THAT!|
Oh, all right. While technically I HAVE all the answers, you are right that many probing questions remain unanswered.
|Gloves? Check. Face mask? Check. Sterile Environment? Check. It's either the average day in a housewife's life circa 1956 or the world's classiest prostate exam.|
Are you sure probing is something you ought to associate with Helen?
Perhaps I'm not answering those questions that’s because no one is asking those questions. Did you ever think of that?
Unlike Pearl S Buck, who was gracious and brilliant, Helen's first rule of butting into other people’s business and bossing them around is to blame the advisee, not the advice giver
and if that doesn't work....
|Look, my cat is so fat she made a dent in a full sized air mattress!|
Or maybe… just maybe… some questions were asked and maybe they were filed away in one of several email folders and Helen can’t remember which ones.
No, that can't be it. That would mean Helen was fibbing a little when she claimed she had solved all your problems!
|Lydia didn't have any idea what she was going to do with all those rocks she made Hans haul over for 'landscaping' but at least she wasn't lying when she told him she planned to just enjoy the view.|
Yes, I’ve lost the last few questions sent to me these past few weeks. Of course I am sure that these were the best, most profound, potentially life changing questions ever asked of me, some potentially involving whether there is life on other planets
|The answer is yes, not only is there life, there is a life of the party and just like here on earth, it's gonna take some vodka.|
Or maybe someone was asking what to do in case of a SPAM shortage
|Mor and Bif? I can't even imagine the OTHER varieties. Luckily the 'label protects your table' - because it may be the only thing standing between your furniture and whatever is in those cans!|
Or for ways to deal with Global Warming
But now we may never know what those questions were, or their answers. Global warming can wait, right?
|Sure. We have our Pepi the Poodle, our Smirnoff's and Mor than enough Bif, we'll just sit here quietly and wait for the apocalypse. Or course, wearing these Space Age Trim Jeans, it can't come soon enough for us!|
In the meantime remember that you can always ask Helen anything you please.
|And to be fair, that means Helen can answer you anything she pleases!|
Ask in the comment section – on my Facebook page or email me. I'll be happy to link to your blog, website and/or social media. And if you asked something in the last 2 weeks and didn't get a response, please let me know. I probably won't lose track of it... again.
Joining Wow Us Wednesday because well, wow!