Dear Helen Hartman,
Did the course of true love ever run smooth? My current bf would rather keep things just as they are, a permanent state of ‘going steady’. I want the whole she-bang, the ring, the gorgeous white dress, veil, bridesmaids, cake. Please tell me that someone is out there who still believes in Love and the fabled happily ever after.
Dear Loves Love Loved One,
Helen is tempted to ask if you understand that marriage is more than the ring, the dress and the cake?
People have been questioning the institution of marriage since, well, since it became an institution.
|You think that's frosting? No, that's foam from the fire extinguisher they had to use to get the bride and groom to stop screaming at each other. It was 1967 so I think the fight was about whether to make love or war.|
Yes, that’s right 1967. It wasn’t the innocent time that we have been lead to believe. Oh sure, instead of Real Housewives in New York we had this girl:
|Okay, bad example. I'd take Ann Marie over any Housewife ever anywhere.|
And people took marriage seriously
|Look Who's Coming To Dinner was a movie mile marker but apparently the real issue was what the heck do you marry with canned soup to make it edible?|
Seriously, y’all. This was the year Elvis and Priscilla got married, and you know that lasted for… okay, I get why this was the year of the paper wedding dress.
|Does this giant bow I made front an entire roll of paper towels make my butt look like it belongs to an escaped mental patient? Yes and the pantaloons made from bubble wrap aren't helping either.|
How does this info help you find a bf who will go along with your plans without questioning them?
|I don't want to hear your whining, Mr. Right. Just hold the umbrella and keep your wedding cake hole shut until you say "I DO".|
Read this book and find out.
|Click here to learn more. Why are you still here? Helen said CLICK|
No, it doesn’t have the answer but it does have a very bossy bride, a nutty family and not one, but two men who would not be caught dead dressed like a sex offender at a school gym.
|Okay, ONE Of the guys would dress like this but then, we all have one of THOSE guys in our past, right?|
Yes, once again someone has come to Helen for help and Helen has managed to make it about her. Woo-hoo! Another win!
Honestly, I think you or someone you know who
can loves to read and owns a KINDLE
will fall in love with it.
Today Helen decides if she should start writing a sweet romance for the editor who is waiting for her to send something or go rogue and begin a Helen Hartman series of retro romances that she’s been thinking about or… caaaakkke...
|Doesn't this cake just say PARTY TIME? Literally, it says Party Time. If your reading level isn't up to cake how are you reading this?|