Thursday, October 25, 2012

Ch-ch-ch changes...


Dear Helen Hartman
I would love to know your answer to a very simple question: Do you believe people can change?

Dear Loved One,
This reply will be a bit of a departure for Helen – don’t worry, she hasn’t lost her sense of humor just that every time someone asks Helen a question she asks herself a question in return.

Is the question - Do you not own a mirror? Because I can't believe you went out dressed like that.  That's what I think most of the time when people are talking to me. 

What Helen asks herself - what does this person really want to know? What are they longing to hear? What do they need to hear, even if they decide not to listen? Mostly here people want a laugh but sometimes they also want more.

Many often want to know where to hide the evidence. I always suggest under the mattress so it's close at hand but not a place just anyone would have access to... unless you're that tramp, Teresa. 

When anyone asks that question – can people change? Helen hears someone asking for permission – permission to move forward, permission to trust, permission to believe. “Tell me the person who promises they have changed really can be a better person. Tell me my heart is safe.”

You can always count on me, kid. 
Helen can’t tell you that of course. But she can tell you that she understands deep in the core of her being that life is change.

Cave Hill Cemetery and  Arboretum, Louisville Ky

This season most of all reminds us that change is not the end, but the letting fall away that which no longer serves us to prepare for what comes next.

Happy Endings are overrated but something that changes your viewpoint - automatically? That  could come in handy!

Not all change is good, of course. And not everyone embraces it. Hubby Hartman told me just last week that he HATES change.

So Helen doesn't feel compelled to go to great lengths tidying up. Wouldn't want the sudden change of a clean house upsetting Hubby, right?

But everyday brings something new, a new challenge, a new opportunity. Change.

Proof that not all change is good.

Has the person you are asking about changed? Helen can’t tell you that. Can people change? They can and do, but not always in the ways you expect or want. The good news is, you can change too and if you are unhappy or in a situation that is weighing your spirit down, you can and should change it.

Joining Inspiration Friday and Pink Saturday for sure!

25 comments:

  1. Excellent advice!

    Methinks I'm going to have to come up with a question for you soon.....

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    1. You should, Helen loves telling people what to do! Um, I mean helping.

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  2. Great start to a blustery day here...thanks, Helen - Happy Almost Weekend! Tanya

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    1. Counting the hours to Saturday myself! Thanks.

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  3. Hello Helen:
    Oh yes, we are all for change! As you say, Life itself is all about change and we feel that to embrace it with gusto is the best course of action. Indeed, we can think of many incarnations that we have undergone during our lives. Some people would call them phases and would advise that one will grow out of them whereas we have never grown up just grown differently Madonna, Dali, Nancy Astor, Byron,Kathleen Ferrier, Beethoven.....we have 'been' them all in our time.After all, a change is as good as a rest, is it not?

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    1. Love that saying a change is as good as a rest. My brain doesn't agree though, it likes naps.

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  4. I think the more we adapt to change - the healthier we are! sandie

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  5. Wise Helen showed up today... lovely post, my friend!

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    1. LOL, just when you think wiseacre Helen is all there is! Thanks!

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  6. Oh sage one. Sometimes people have change THRUST upon them, like when the evidence is too big to hide under the mattress or cannot be washed away with high-power dish soap. Perhaps a more direct way to get change is to stand on the corner with a baseball cap in hand. Another brilliant post, Ms. Hartman. LOL! I depend on your advice always.

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    1. Your comments always make me laugh. I am almost at the baseball cap on the corner point. Beats working.

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  7. I think the truest thing you said is that everyone (and everything) changes...just not always in the way you'd want or expect. And the most important thing you said, in my opinion, is that we can choose to make a change if we're unhappy.

    When I went through a divorce, I entered a 12 Step program where I learned to be less controlling, to stop having unreasonable expectations, to stop enabling and to let go of relationships that weren't good for me. It was life-changing, and I'll forever be grateful that my life took a different course. My ex, however, looked at the change in me from an entirely different perspective. He said once, "I liked you better the way you were before." Oh, yes, siree...I bet he did!

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    1. A lesson there for sure. We have the power to change but sometimes we have to let go of what others want in order to accomplish it.

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  8. Great advice. I gave so much advice when I was counseling that I just wanted to lie down and say make me over. I love getting advice now. :)

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  9. LOL - I know. I left social work and began writing fiction so I could fix people full time. Sure,they are fictional people but that's they way I like them.

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  10. Always enjoy your presentation. They are different and you make them so interesting. Love the little ones kissing shot.

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    1. Thanks - that's probably the last time those still got along! They are my
      babies' who are now all grown up!

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  11. Ahh, I love this! Funny and poignant and true! Sometimes I hear people say that they believe that people don't change. I absolutely believe they do or I wouldn't do what I do. Or Maybe I should say, "Or God wouldn't do what He does." I think He definitely believes in change! Thank you for such a wonderful post...you are very good! ;0)

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  12. Awww, that's so sweet. I am not very good but I try to be very honest, and sometimes that is good :) Sometimes it gets ya poke in the eye!

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  13. Hi Helen - As always, too much fun stopping by your place. Love keeping up with you on fb - and after being missing in action in Blogland for a few weeks, it is finally nice to be getting my blog groove back! Thought you might like that chenille jacket of my mom's. I wear vintage whenever I can. I like old things - too many unattractive changes in the last 40 years - on the other hand, when you post some of the ridiculous food ads from retro years - change in our diets have been for the better, I think. Hubby and I are going gluten free, organic, and largely dairy, sodium, and low sugar - and ya know - we are so much healthier these days. Hope you'll post some of your DIY home makeover changes soon!
    Joy!
    Kathy

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    1. Thanks - we went sugar and flour and processed stuff free a while back and all looked and felt better. Then the house reno meant meals out and stress and allergies stirred up and suddenly.... ready to get back on the eat better wagon.

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  14. This is a good post, my friend. Wisdom with a good sense of humor. And what about change? It is the ONE thing we can be sure of. Change is inevitable....for good or bad! We can count on things to change...and people, too! Enjoy your weekend! Sweet hugs!

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    1. Thanks! You're right the only thing that stays the same is the fact that everything changes! Happy weekend to you too!

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  15. What an excellent post, dear Helen! So pleased to have discovered your adorable blog -- I love the vintage twist!

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