Monday, November 19, 2012

A Soleful Thanksgiving?


Dear Helen Hartman,
Every Thanksgiving I feel like Cinderella. I am stuck with the cleaning, the shopping and the cooking while my mother and sisters-in-law only have to breeze in at the last minute and tell me I’m doing it all wrong. My husband does not stand up for me. In fact, he doesn’t stand up for anything that day, not as long as football is on. So this year I am thinking of going out with hubby’s credit card and buying myself something fabulous. What do you think? Will the right pair of shoes help me find the love for the holiday again?

Dear Loved A Few Heels In Her Day One,
Cinderella? You are looking to Cinderella for your answers? There’s your real problem, Loved One. Cinderella isn’t a morality tale, it’s a Cautionary tale.


It may have started as a party but you marry a prince, you are getting a guy who thinks when he puts on his royal robe and settles into his throne everyone should wait on him hand and foot.


For starters, shoes didn’t get Cindy what she wanted in life. You know what did?

Some turkey with a shotgun?

Quick thinking and teamwork. Not by the poor little princess-to-be but by her Fairy Godmother.

Cindy was so dumb that when her step-sister told her to take a Greyhound to the palace she said "I don't have a greyhound, do you think I can ride a corgi instead?"

Don’t despair if you don’t have your own Fairy Godmother handy. You have Helen!

Oh look that little simp is in a pickle again. You lost at Beer Pong, Dorcas, you have to go. 

And Helen is telling you to quit whining. Your in-laws tell you that you are doing things wrong? Hand them a ladle and let them show you how it’s done.

Is this a joke? Helen isn't sure but it does suggest that we are not the first generation to feel like Thanksgiving is a day when it seems like an open invite to carve up your loved ones.

Why would you look to Cinderella to help you settle old scores?
What does she know about scoring anyway? After all, she had a pumpkin for a coach. Ba-dum-dum.  Drink a bite to eat at 10, 2 and 4 ? I believe I will.

She had a FAIRY GODMOTHER at her disposal and when she could ask for anything she asked to go to a party that she actually had an invitation to already.

Dream big!
(What hubby doesn't see is that she isn't dreaming of a washing machine, she's dreaming of a machine that will break down often so she can call in the handsome, young Mr Fix It. Mr Fix it, indeed.)

And don’t even get Helen started on the big prize Cindy hoped to get out of that!

Crabs?
(Ashamed of myself? Oh, right, like if you didn't have this image you wouldn't have made the same awful joke!) 

What she got was a prince of a guy who can’t even recall what she looked like. Couldn’t pick her out in a crowd? Not even in a room with her two ugly step sisters. So he decides that he will marry the first girl who fits in the shoe he found outside on the steps?

I'm not saying the guy was dim but they did need to use puppets to help him understand silverware.

Pulease. These characters are not role models.

THESE Characters? Now these characters are role models!

You want to have a happy holiday? Make your mind up to do so. Let go of any grudges and unrealistic expectations. Oh, and no blaming Martha Stewart for making you long for the perfect holiday.

A 1960s buffet of Thanksgiving Potential Disappointment. One turkey, two side dishes, lots and lots of champagne  What could go wrong?

In fact, no blaming anyone. Take charge of your day, take charge of your life.

Can I still take hubby's charge card? Look at us, he had to know when he married me there'd be hell to pay.

Don’t be a Cinderella. Dream big. Be open to those who want to help you succeed. And when you do – buy your own cute shoes!

And all the accessories to match - Helen says don't do anything half-hatted!

30 comments:

  1. Love all the photos!!! My favorite is the blue haired ladies and the one with the table setting. Fab!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks _ Have saved the silver haired foxes for a while, so glad to get to show them off!

      Delete
  2. Helen, If I can't come back in my next life as a cat...then let me be a man at holiday time. Feet up, waiting for the dinner bell.:):) I love all your photos..you are the best. smiles, Susie
    p.s. Happy Thanksgiving

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOl - the first holiday that Helen was married she had to work and the whole family was coming over so hubby made the turkey. It was such a big hit that he has done it ever since. Never has one woman gotten more time off out of a day's work!

      Delete
  3. Crabs! I sputtered, sporfled, and teeheed!

    Hope you're feeling better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hadda go there. Hope i don't land on the naughty list.

      Delete
  4. I remember how stressful it was for my mother and grandmothers to make huge Thanksgiving spreads. By the time they had the food on the table, they were too tired to enjoy it. And, of course, the men were parked in front of the TV while the women toiled in the kitchen. Even as a kid, I thought there was something wrong with that tradition. As a result, I made a conscious decision as an adult not to follow in the footsteps of the women in my family. Holidays should be something all family members...including moms and grandmothers...enjoy spending together. For the past 40-something years, I've opted for less cooking extravaganza and more togetherness, and no one has complained so far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool! I love it when people actually make the holidays what they can be instead of what they are supposed to be.

      Delete
  5. As quiet as the day can sometimes get, there IS something to be said for living too far from the big family during the holidays! AND, you can play beer pong in the garage without the family fights! Happy Thanksgiving, Helen - XOXO Tanya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go for it! We're having a gathering late in the day so I am so excited about a lazy day with the family. Movie rentals already in the offing.

      Delete
  6. We let someone else do the work--A buffet and the horse races at Churchill Downs--I will wave at you Helen as we drive through town!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Smart of you! I hope you have some winners to be be thankful for.

      Delete
  7. Hysterical- I loved it as always. Sad Thanksgiving with one cold turkey and 2 itty bitty side dishes. xo Diana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know and it was in a book on Entertaining. I don't think I'd be entertained by that at all!

      Delete
  8. Helen..here I am, our new follower! I love this...brings back so many memories! Hope your feeling better! Thanks for joining my blog!

    Blessings,
    Gert

    ReplyDelete
  9. I may start my Thanksgiving my bonking a couple of people over the head with my rolling pin. Is that proper etiquette?
    :)
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Depending on the people. I say you're just helping them (and others) have a peaceful holiday.

      Delete
  10. You may find me wandering the back roads! I swear people are probably going to report me as a peeping tom. ;) Have a great Thanksgiving! I hope you feel better. I am hosting this year, so I'm working my keester off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck with that meal and have a happy day!

      Delete
  11. First ad:
    Robe. Check.
    Houseshoes. Check.
    Necktie. Check.
    Those were the days. When my hubby comes home from work, skivvies are, apparently, more comfortable,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're more of a gym shorts and T shirt household - try as I might to get him to slip into a smoking jacket.

      Delete
  12. I'd totally take those red pumps, purse & polka-dot gloves :) Whoop Whoop! Sounds like some shopping must be done before Thanksgiving and NOT at the grocery store!
    Wishing you a lovely Turkey Day!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy Thanksgiving right back at ya - I LOVE those gloves and shoes, too.

      Delete
  13. Oh my gosh!! The things you come up with...you KNOW what I'm talkin' about! ;0) I hope you are feeling good now! Happy Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks - hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving as well!

      Delete
  14. Here Here ;-)) I agree with everything you said in this post. Thanks giving and christmas day should be a relaxing and fun family filled day with no expectation and stree out on anyone. Happy thanks giving to you dear lady, dee x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for coming by and heres to many fun family filled days!

      Delete
  15. Obviously Cindy had her hands on far superior cosmetics than we have today - Prince couldn't recognize her without them. But you know the level of a woman's intelligence when she opts for SLIPPERS made out of glass, or at least she's supposed to be HAPPY that the fairy godmother chose them for her? I'd go for the Helen fairy godmother any day of the week! Your humour makes my day always.

    ReplyDelete

Loved To Have Their Own Say In Things Ones say:

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...