Dear Helen Hartman,
Every Thanksgiving I feel like Cinderella. I am stuck with the cleaning, the shopping and the cooking while my mother and sisters-in-law only have to breeze in at the last minute and tell me I’m doing it all wrong. My husband does not stand up for me. In fact, he doesn’t stand up for anything that day, not as long as football is on. So this year I am thinking of going out with hubby’s credit card and buying myself something fabulous. What do you think? Will the right pair of shoes help me find the love for the holiday again?
Dear Loved A Few Heels In Her Day One,
Cinderella? You are looking to Cinderella for your answers? There’s your real problem, Loved One. Cinderella isn’t a morality tale, it’s a Cautionary tale.
|It may have started as a party but you marry a prince, you are getting a guy who thinks when he puts on his royal robe and settles into his throne everyone should wait on him hand and foot.|
For starters, shoes didn’t get Cindy what she wanted in life. You know what did?
|Some turkey with a shotgun?|
Quick thinking and teamwork. Not by the poor little princess-to-be but by her Fairy Godmother.
|Cindy was so dumb that when her step-sister told her to take a Greyhound to the palace she said "I don't have a greyhound, do you think I can ride a corgi instead?"|
Don’t despair if you don’t have your own Fairy Godmother handy. You have Helen!
|Oh look that little simp is in a pickle again. You lost at Beer Pong, Dorcas, you have to go.|
And Helen is telling you to quit whining. Your in-laws tell you that you are doing things wrong? Hand them a ladle and let them show you how it’s done.
|Is this a joke? Helen isn't sure but it does suggest that we are not the first generation to feel like Thanksgiving is a day when it seems like an open invite to carve up your loved ones.|
Why would you look to Cinderella to help you settle old scores?
|What does she know about scoring anyway? After all, she had a pumpkin for a coach. Ba-dum-dum. Drink a bite to eat at 10, 2 and 4 ? I believe I will.|
She had a FAIRY GODMOTHER at her disposal and when she could ask for anything she asked to go to a party that she actually had an invitation to already.
|Dream big! |
(What hubby doesn't see is that she isn't dreaming of a washing machine, she's dreaming of a machine that will break down often so she can call in the handsome, young Mr Fix It. Mr Fix it, indeed.)
And don’t even get Helen started on the big prize Cindy hoped to get out of that!
(Ashamed of myself? Oh, right, like if you didn't have this image you wouldn't have made the same awful joke!)
What she got was a prince of a guy who can’t even recall what she looked like. Couldn’t pick her out in a crowd? Not even in a room with her two ugly step sisters. So he decides that he will marry the first girl who fits in the shoe he found outside on the steps?
Pulease. These characters are not role models.
You want to have a happy holiday? Make your mind up to do so. Let go of any grudges and unrealistic expectations. Oh, and no blaming Martha Stewart for making you long for the perfect holiday.
|A 1960s buffet of Thanksgiving Potential Disappointment. One turkey, two side dishes, lots and lots of champagne What could go wrong?|
In fact, no blaming anyone. Take charge of your day, take charge of your life.
|Can I still take hubby's charge card? Look at us, he had to know when he married me there'd be hell to pay.|