Dear Helen Hartman,
I know this is not the world’s biggest problem but it’s bugging me. It’s my bra. Most specifically it’s the wires in it. WIRES? In underwear? Whose idea was that? Today that pesky wire broke through and poked me so much I just took it off. I think ladies in the 1960s had it right. Burn those bras! Love for you to give the idea your stamp of approval.
Dear Unwired but still Loved One,
You want Helen to WHAT? Bug the world’s largest bra then set it on fire and stamp on it?
|It's a bra you can live in. Really. It's as big as a tent.|
Okay, clearly Helen is not in the mood to sort this out today. She has no idea who to blame for the engineering of women’s unmentionables but she knows who we are going to blame.
|Meet the angel from Helen's shoulders - St Sluggo. She had to beef up because the devil was winning too many arguments!|
Am I saying the devil made them do it?
No, I don’t care how many wings they put on Victoria’s Secret models Helen thinks the devil approves of those catalogs.
|Come on, THIS is somebody's vision of hell, right?|
Nope, Helen’s motto is when things go wrong and you don’t know why, don’t be troubled - blame the other guy!
|Yes, you El Moostachio. Really, did you have to ask?|
But not Me!
|Yes YOU. I don't know what worries me more, that you are smoking in a store or around that clearly flammable jacket.|
|You know, I can't quite put my finger on it but there is something about YOU that I like.|
As for setting underthings on fire? Helen does have a better idea. If your bra is uncomfy hie thee to a ‘fine department store’ or boutique and get a real fitting. You may find you are wearing the wrong size or style.
As for getting Helen involved in a new bra burning movement? She’d rather be shopping. Especially when she finds things like these:
|Howard Holt and a musical snowman - why is a big round lower half cute on a snowman but not so much on Helen?|
|I DO Love Lucy! And LIFE.|
|Oo la la indeed. Yes, a dresser box for ciggies with ashtrays on the side. That is one cool kitty!|
|I once heard a lesson saying when you are dealing with a difficult person or situation you should place your name in this Bible verse whenever you see the word LOVE. I Never get past the Helen is patient without bursting into laughter.|
Helen will be re cooperating the next couple of days and can't wait to just sit and read blogs and comment and catch up.
Have a Great week.