Has Helen Got Some Dish(es) For You!

Dear Helen Hartman,

One of the women at my work is a terrible gossip. No topic or person seems off limits. I find it disruptive and unprofessional. I love my job but if things don’t improve I am thinking of asking to transfer to another department to get away from this Lucy Loose Lips. 

Dear Loved One,

Unprofessional and disruptive? 

I can see why you’d LOVE your job!

Helen is SO with you. I hate a terrible gossip. 

Remember, if you are going to the trouble to disparage, judge and cast shame on fellow human beings have the common courtesy to do a good job of it!

Want advice on how to get better gossip out of others… come close my dears, listen and learn.

That’s it.

No I mean it. LISTEN.  Stuff your hot dish hole with your best tuna noodle casserole if you must 

Even the slop my tacky neighbor Teresa tries to pass off as made from scratch
 (please, the only thing that gal has made from scratch is a spreading rash)
would taste good from this cute dish - new find $4.

Eat it but keep it out of your ears (I have seen how you eat). You are going to need them to hear all the good stuff your companions are going to start serving up.

No, that was NOT a cheap ploy to allow me to show off my newly found Melmac serving dishes. I'll have you know I paid .99 cents each for these.

If you must open your yap, master the art of what Helen calls the GPD the ‘gasp of pure delight’. I KNOW you know what I mean. 

Study this illustration for an example of how to
appear far more engaged in an issue than you really are.
No way are all these people THAT excited about MORE ANYTHING
in Pennsylvania.

A GPD is like the proverbial carrot dangled out to grease the wheels of the rumor mill. 

 Carrot grease? That can't be right, which is what I said when I found this
Barvarian sacred heart plate for just a buck. 

But don’t overdo it. You don’t want to sound too anxious to get the scoop on all the ill deeds of others. That doesn't look for you.

You do not want your own reputation to flat line, do you? BTW if you have an angel for a
nurse, shouldn't your progress chart be better than that zig zaggy nonsense? Is she just messin'
with you? You're Healed! No, you're not! 

Shocked that Helen would advocate participating in gossip? I think once again you assumed you are smarter than Helen.

Who do you think you are? My dog, Bacon Hambutt, who seems to always know
when to photobomb me - like when showing off this $2 pant stand?
No, you've got to get up pretty early in the morning to outsmart Helen - and while you
are up so early, make Helen breakfast.

Let me make this simple. How much we enjoy something is often influenced by how it is presented to us. People who want to spread vicious gossip often don’t understand that. Your office mate is an example. Every time she opens her mouth she tells you more about herself than whatever she is blabbing about. So why be quiet and let her do it?

Honestly, who do you think more kindly of - Lucy or the Gossip rags of Star Town USA  who told tales about her?
And by the way - What does Jack Webb really want?

Because left to fill an awkward silence even poor gossips are going to keep talking and talking until they go too far. That’s when your silence drives home the point. I know you Loved One, you can say more in a look than most people can say in a tirade.  Let that gossip know that you are onto her and are not giving her any fuel.

Her eyes say 'so you think you can talk smack about my friends on My turf'? But her lips say "Well, look at your darling little outfit. You sure have gotten a lot of wear out of it but then you could since you never seem to go out with the same man twice."

Try listening to that gossip. You may get just the right ammo to shut her up. I mean, who knows what that gossip might confess to! 

World's best edition of CLUE - $3 'MINT' condition!!
NOW THAT's something to gossip about!

Miss Helen, in the library with a glance? 

Have a Wonderful weekend!

joining Pink Saturday