Monday, January 7, 2013

Old Dog? Moi???

Dear Helen Hartman,
What ever happened to the time honored tradition of breaking new years resolutions 2 days after you make 'em? My wife spent a bundle on tubs and shelves and dry erase boards to keep the household humming.  Humming? I'm howlingI love my wife, but, c'mon! I was happy the way things were. You seem like the kind to embrace the 'can't teach an old dog new tricks' philosophy. Help!

Dear Loved His Wife But One,
I KNOW you did not just call Helen an old dog, did you?


"Uh-oh, got to skeedaddle."  
You can run but you can't hide, bucko. You think Helen can't follow the trail of mowed grass and flop sweat?
Seems to me of the pair of us YOU are the one heading for the dog house.  


You know I really should say something about a cat house here but I'm not going to because I am above that and also, I know you all already made your own tacky joke, so now y'all are the one's withe the dirty minds, not me. Me-OWW. 
(ps anyone know anything about this style of pitcher? Love any info.)

As for helping you with your domestic situation?



I can't believe he bought that - I mean a WOMAN in 1957 with a DREAM? 


The only thing domestic that Helen has any interest in is the occasional glass of wine.


Helen doesn't even believe in domesticating her men.  Howdy, partner, got me a 97 cent  bowtie and a fancy shirt to show no woman can tame me. She can DRESS me but she can't tame me.

Nope. You, old dog, have come barking up the wrong tree if you think Helen is going to suggest you never go out on a limb and sink your teeth into something new from time to time.


BTW out on a limb is the only place Helen would allow you to eat this stuff.. I don't care how E-Z they make the can, we are not having this in our house.

Trying new things is what keeps us young! 



F: I'm trying this new trend in Cabana wear!  
E: I'm  trying wearing my pants backwards so my wife will tell me I look stupid and an I can put on something that doesn't make me look like a 4 year old in a romper set.



Besides, haven't you ever heard the motto - Happy wife, happy life?



Married 5 minutes and already NOT HAPPY. I bet it was that dumb thing Mr Groom said right after  they were pronounced man and wife. Or at the reception. Or... whenever his mouth was open.
(Don't you love my lovely bride in a plastic frame? I got her for  $1 and now my kids have another photo of a stranger to try to explain when I die)



So be a good boy and  who knows, instead of feeling like an old dog, it just might give you a new leash on life. (I HAD to say it. I know you were all thinking it). Have a great week, y'all!

joining Wow Us Wednesday

30 comments:

  1. Love the bride photo. Trying to identify her will confound many future generations of your family. :)

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  2. Yes, I can see them puzzling. They had it framed, she MUST be someone in the family!

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  3. The bride photo is so sweet but I'm not sure about the models you've been showing lately. Although now that I think of it, I may have seen one of those cabana sets on someone here in Florida! heheehee! Hugs!

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    1. Just having too much fun with a 1957 Montgomery Ward catalog! I hope those Cabana sets were on toddlers or spry ol gents.

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  4. Life just hasn't been the same since they stopped selling Spam in the e-z open top! Hope you have a great week:@)

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    1. If anything should be E-Z it should be SPAM!

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  5. Seriously. do people really eat Spam. In Kentucky, plenty of people eat "veye-ennies" known in the civilized world as Vienna sausages. Or is there any part of the civilized world that eats them? :)

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    1. LOL.Hubby Hartman actually chased me down the aisle at the Kroger with a can vee-nees sawsuges this weekend! They creep the bejebus outta me.

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  6. People who don't understand buying pix of someone else's relatives just don't know the value of cute. If that dress doesn't say Grace Kelly I don't know what does! We'll send our children to therapy when we die to understand our obsessive compulsive collection of strange old magazines and vintage goodies; it'll give them something to spend my life insurance money on!

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    1. Since my kids were little I made them repeat the mantra - ESTATE sale, not yard sale for what to do with my stuff when I am gone.

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  7. Love that kitty pitcher and the Picture of the Bride.
    Really great finds!

    p.s. I kinda liked the cabana set. *lol*

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  8. What a fun post....and everyone needs a bride picture of someone they don't know! I am so glad you do these posts- I always leave smiling...xo Diana

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    1. Thanks - your posts always leave me smiling so we're even. I bet that not something people say about a pair of such potentially unbalanced gals like us very often!

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  9. Funny stuff! I loved the 'leash on life'. Ha!

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  10. What a fabulous frame and vase. I'm totally smiling reading this post. A perfect way to start my morning!

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    1. Thanks. I got those things for a song, well not really, if I had burst into song they probably would have chased me away.

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  11. Nothing like starting off the new year with a good laugh...oh goodness...your photo selection is really the best! Love to know...do you have them all organized? I'm sure you'd have to because you must have thousands :)
    LOVE that cat pitcher...toooooo cute... and the new plastic frame is darling...I can relate with the "fake relatives" that the children will have to wonder about ~ lol!! Happy New Year Annie!!

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    1. Thanks for the good laugh in return! Organized? Hahahahaha. I have a library of magazines and booklets. They are boxed and bagged but no rhyme nor reason :)

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  12. you gave that mean husband what he deserved and how! xo

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    1. Helen tries never to give people what they deserve - she could never be THAT mean ;) Thanks for coming by!

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  13. Simply delightful blog! Thanks for introducing yourself. I'm your newest follower, Mary Alice

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  14. Your blog is beautiful - thank you for coming by!

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  15. OMG, Spam. I remember my brothers eating that when we were kids. I didn't eat it, cause I couldn't identify what it was. LOL Cute blog. Thanks for visiting me.

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    1. Thanks for visiting back. My son tried SPAM recently. He kept asking me - What is this SUPPOSED to taste like? I had no clue.

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  16. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  17. Another great post to make me smile. I love that little cat jug, dee x

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    1. Thanks - I may have to start drinking something that requires cream in a pitcher.

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  18. I agree, all I know about your cat pitcher is that I want it, bad.

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