Old Dog? Moi???

Dear Helen Hartman,
What ever happened to the time honored tradition of breaking new years resolutions 2 days after you make 'em? My wife spent a bundle on tubs and shelves and dry erase boards to keep the household humming.  Humming? I'm howling! I love my wife, but, c'mon! I was happy the way things were. You seem like the kind to embrace the 'can't teach an old dog new tricks' philosophy. Help!

Dear Loved His Wife But One,
I KNOW you did not just call Helen an old dog, did you?

"Uh-oh, got to skeedaddle."  
You can run but you can't hide, bucko. You think Helen can't follow the trail of mowed grass and flop sweat?

Seems to me of the pair of us YOU are the one heading for the dog house.  

You know I really should say something about a cat house here but I'm not going to because I am above that and also, I know you all already made your own tacky joke, so now y'all are the one's withe the dirty minds, not me. Me-OWW. 
(ps anyone know anything about this style of pitcher? Love any info.)

As for helping you with your domestic situation?

I can't believe he bought that - I mean a WOMAN in 1957 with a DREAM? 

The only thing domestic that Helen has any interest in is the occasional glass of wine.

Helen doesn't even believe in domesticating her men.  Howdy, partner, got me a 97 cent  bowtie and a fancy shirt to show no woman can tame me. She can DRESS me but she can't tame me.

Nope. You, old dog, have come barking up the wrong tree if you think Helen is going to suggest you never go out on a limb and sink your teeth into something new from time to time.

BTW out on a limb is the only place Helen would allow you to eat this stuff.. I don't care how E-Z they make the can, we are not having this in our house.

Trying new things is what keeps us young! 

F: I'm trying this new trend in Cabana wear!  
E: I'm  trying wearing my pants backwards so my wife will tell me I look stupid and an I can put on something that doesn't make me look like a 4 year old in a romper set.

Besides, haven't you ever heard the motto - Happy wife, happy life?

Married 5 minutes and already NOT HAPPY. I bet it was that dumb thing Mr Groom said right after  they were pronounced man and wife. Or at the reception. Or... whenever his mouth was open.
(Don't you love my lovely bride in a plastic frame? I got her for  $1 and now my kids have another photo of a stranger to try to explain when I die)

So be a good boy and  who knows, instead of feeling like an old dog, it just might give you a new leash on life. (I HAD to say it. I know you were all thinking it). Have a great week, y'all!

joining Wow Us Wednesday