Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My Heart is Full but so is My Snoz

Oh the plans Helen had for Valentine's Week!

One box or Two?


Ha! I had bigger plans than that... not than two boxes of candy but oh, the pics, the tips, the romance, the laughter I had on the menu. You know what I got instead?  

More than two boxes of candy? 

NO! Helen has a 'No box of chocolates' rule for Valentine's Day, btw, so if you bought her some, go ahead and eat them yourself (did you even get through the end of that sentence before you ripped that cellophane off and started stuffing your bon bon hole?)

I also have one of these that says 'nuts', often I can't tell my sweets from my nuts without someone else pointing out which is which. If you think about it, that explains a lot of my relationships


My candy dish may be empty but you know what's full?

YOUR PLATE???  Happy FAT TUESDAY, Ya'll, bring on the meal the size of a Mardi Gras float!

My sinuses  UGH! I have a cold! Yes, when FAT TUESDAY and VALENTINE's DAY - two of the most indulgent holidays of the year - share the same week! And Helen has been rendered completely tasteless.


That set up is so easy I can make the obvious joke with just a look.

I had so hoped to gather a bunch of tips from romance writers to share their pearls of wisdom on romance

These are Helen's pearls - can you believe I found these pearly plastic grapes and three strand necklace for a buck each. Now that kind of bargain, there? That's wisdom! 

But between work and a new project and coughing fits and the fact that writers are notorious for saying - yes I'd like to do that then NOT doing it, I'm done.



But One Brave and Fabulous Author, Debra Salonen, did get back to me in time for today's post and answered the question: What is the key to a lasting relationship:


Dance at breakfast. One song. Once a week. Silly as it sounds, silly is healthy. The couple that laughs together can weather life's craziness.

Debra Salonen knows crazy. She's been married to her high school sweetheart for 38 years. And the heroine of her newest release epitomizes whacky (think: Ethel Mertz meets 50 Shades of Gray).  Bang! You're Dead (short, sexy and very naughty) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B4OIWK6


Ethel Mertz meets 50 Shades of Gray?????


I did not make a mock up cover for this post, y'all.
Apparently even back then Fred and Ethyl were a scandal!


OH MY!
Helen's heart is all a flutter.. but that could be the cold meds! If you don't know if it's love or if it's medication remember to check back to this guest column by the uber fab Stephanie Bond - a how to for the 'trust but verify' model of modern romance!

Have a Great Week Y'all and know that no matter what you get up to today or how you spend your Valentine's Day - Helen LOVES you.

41 comments:

  1. Hello Helen:
    And, we love you too...cold and all.

    Romantic love is all very well, but sometimes a hot water bottle and a warm bed are simply the best. Oh dear, does this mean that one is getting old....will we be in felt slippers and our dressing gowns all day before too long......second thoughts, pass the chocolates and be damned!!!

    Happy Valentine's Day and get well soon!!

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    1. I don't know, forget a loaf of bread a jug of wine and thou and go for comfy jammies, a comfy companion and chocolate! That's romance.

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  2. Love Debra's advice! And love you too. Hope you feel better soon! :)

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    1. Me too - don't feel so bad so much as yuky!

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  3. Take some nuts, sweet...and call us in the morning. I did the sinus infection thing at Christmas - no fun. FEEL BETTER SOON - HAPPY VALENTINES DAY - Tanya

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  4. Poooor baby. Hugs and lemon tea coming your way.

    I absolutely LOVE that TV guide cover. You're brilliant, of course. When I read my tip to my husband, he burst out laughing. See? It works. ;-)

    Get well soon!

    Deb

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    1. Thanks a ton for pitching in and can't wait to read your book.

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  5. Dearest Helen...I am right there with you girl! Woke up with the same thing last Monday...all I can taste today is anitbiotics...Chicken SOup for Valentine's Day sounds good to me at this point! Hope you are feeling better soon! We love you!
    -Pam

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    1. Awwww. Take good care of yourself. Hope you feel terrific soon.

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  6. So sorry for you! That's a miserable feeling. I guess you've tried all the remedies. It just takes time. Cocoon and wrap yourself in favorite sweater. Plain old Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup and lemon juice in it always helps me, for a few minutes anyway.

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    1. Home remedies? That's lemon and whiskey, right? Thanks for the sympathy.

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  7. We all LOVE you, too! And I hope you feel much better soon. All of my chocolate is sugar free but it tastes good to me! Sweet hugs! Take care!

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    1. Thanks! Chocolate and stuffy noses don't mix so I will stick with bourbon!

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  8. Ouch, hate sinus infections and when they interfere with romantical plans? How awful! Feel better soonest or I will send the Great Scot with haggis!

    Yes, there truly are fates worse than death and haggis is involved in most of them.

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    1. Oh dear, the ear of Haggis has cured many an ill I am sure.

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  9. OH ETHYL!! Our mom had an aunt Ethyl...maybe it's the name :) lol! Hoping that the sicky-poos leave you soon so you can enjoy your chocolates ~ sending you a little Summer Kitchen Love for Valentines as well!!

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    1. Thanks - I always loved Ethyl but was so sad to learn she and Fred didn't get along.

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    2. I'm not surprised, actually. I always thought Ethel was too good for him. ;-)

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  10. SO not fair for you to be sick this week!!! You're right that this is a week of indulgence to the nth power, and you should be able to increase your cholesterol number and waistline right along with the rest of us. I'm cookin' up a pot of seafood gumbo today along with Southern fried catfish, cole slaw, French bread, and some yummy dessert yet TBD. (I guess I'd better get crackin' and make a decision in the next 5 minutes so I can get started on it!) Lots and lots of hurricanes, too...the GOOD kind! :-) I will be thinking of you as I down my Prilosec and Pepto Bismol! Take care of yourself and get well soon! Have a Happy Valentine's Day!!!

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    1. MMMmmmmMMMMmmm! That all sounds so good, esp the hurricanes!

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  11. I really must find out what this Fat Tuesday is all about ... something to do with Pancake Day? Coz that's what we wolfed down for brekkie, not even realising it was Shrove Tuesday - I'm sure there's going to be some big fat reward coming to me for being such a dutiful non-Catholic. Ahh yes, the bane of writers: "yes I'd love to!", then promptly pulling the covers back over one's head ... which is what I hope you're doing while you have a cold! xoxo

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    1. Curled up on the couch, but same result! Fat Tuesday - I don't even know where to begin but at Midnight tonight it comes to a screeching halt!

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  12. So Sorry for the snoody nose and you feeling under the weather, Surely it will clear up soon. Rinse your nose out with saline and distilled water, always helps me

    OK with advice out of the way LOL I hope you have a sort of good Valentines Day anyway, surely you can cram a piece of chocolate down LOL

    We'll be checking back to see if your better

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    1. Saline and water? What about scotch and soda?

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  13. I woke up at 4 a.m. today with the same thing. Boy, do I ever sympathize!

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    1. Hope you are better soon. I am way better today, so hope yours is a fast moving system.

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  14. Get better soon! Happy celebrating this week...as best you can!

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    1. Better today - since we don't give things up for Lent I will just celebrate anyway!

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  15. Sorry your not feeling well hope you feel better soon. And if i was you i would hold onto the chocolates if you do get any until you can taste and enjoy them :-) dee x

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    1. LOL - I can't have chocolate around and NOT eat it - even if I can only taste it a little (that's why not big boxes of candy are allowed!)

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  16. I could really do with some chocolate right now. You know with everyone doing Valentines post it's just "eating away at me" I love your sweets dish.

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    1. LOL - Thanks - hope you saw my lobster tablecloth http://dearhelenhartman.blogspot.com/2013/02/snow-day.html I thought of you when I saw it. Actually, I thought of me and how much I wanted it then I thought you would too!

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  17. I am so sorry you have a cold. It is cold and flu season. Hopefully yours will flew away.

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    1. Better today - now catch up on stuff that didn't get my full attention the past few days! Can I Play sick until the weekend?

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  18. What a rotten time to get this awful cold. Is there any good time? Nooooo. Hope you're feeling much better soon. Loved this post! Ethel meets 50 Shades of Gray??? I'd love to read that! :)
    Happy Valentine's Day!!

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    1. I KNOW! I get ne KINDLE books when on the treadmill. Thinking I'll be back on tomorrow and buying that for sure!

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