Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Smart Cookies!

DEAR HELEN HARTMAN,
I've lost almost 10 pounds but still have 10 more to go. And Girl Scout Cookies are here. I LOVE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. How can I not let them destroy my diet?  

Dear Loved but Hasn't Lost Enough Yet One,


Congrats on the weight loss! You've come this far and I can see why you don't want to risk gaining it back. The answer to your question is like Helen herself.


Easy?

Yes. I mean, NO! Look, they say out of sight, out of mind, don't they? 


Heard it? We had it included in our wedding vows!

So maybe the best way to deal with the temptation of Girl Scout Cookies is to get rid of them. Let Helen help. Mail all the boxes of cookies to Helen Hartman, at...

Oh, like you weren't thinking of
trying the same thing?

So just don't buy Girl Scout Cookies. Problem solv--
WHAT? You say Girl Scouts are adorable, their cause is a good one,


And the cookies are delicious,
unlike the other stuff you have in your pantry.
and you don't know what to say when they ask you to buy a box... or 12.


She speaks 3 languages and can't say "NO" in any of them!

Helen is one step ahead of you 


You're not looking at my behind, are you because if you make one joke about Helen needing to take her own cookie denying advice, I'll... I'll... Ill sit on you!

If you can't resist a good cause then the Girl Scouts offer a program to donate GS cookies to the troops. How can you NOT do that?


Better than using smokes to sell war bonds
(ad 1951, not WWII, btw)

That's all I got. Three suggestions. Don't buy 'em. Buy 'em for a good cause.  Huh? That's not three?


Helen never was good at math, look at the size of her calculator!

So stop asking so many questions. Helen can't answer you anyway - her mouth is full of Thin Mints.

Joining Wow Us Wednesday

39 comments:

  1. LOL- Oh, yes-those adorable girl scouts. They are evil cookie carrying devils if you ask me-but who's asking! xo Diana

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  2. They sure have figured out how to sell cookies!

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  3. Ohhhhhhhhhhh - I HATE going to the grocery store during Cookie month...there's always a handful at each and every door, nasty little temptresses that they are...then there's the Boy Scouts and the Little League teams, and...I should just start shopping at the Gas Station Convenience Store, I think! Happy Tuesday, Helen...Rock on!

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    1. My daughter works in a grocery store so we can't avoid them - I think we have given away enough boxes to have fed an army- literally!

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  4. LOVE this! I have a post I wrote about the little dealers a few years ago that I re-do every year because it gets so many laughs. It is like you just can't avoid them, they are EVERYWHERE! I try to make my way to the doors they are not standing at, but sometimes they are at both...Did you know they have a mobile booth they use in N.Y. city? Sort of like a food truck?! Run people- RUN!

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    1. Mobilized? Oh no - if they drove through the street in the suburbs like an ice cream truck I can see women running into the street waving money to get a box for a mid day pick up.

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  5. HAHAAA! You are too funny!! I buy myself one single box of my favorite cookie (formerly non p.c. samoas) and when they're gone, they're gone. I may or may not run to the grocery store to buy a nice big tub of samoas ice cream, which I do not eat out of the carton by myself in bed with a glass of wine. :)

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    1. I KNOW you don't eat that ice cream with a glass of wine - wine comes in BOTTLES for a reason! OMG - what if they made girl Scout WINE? We're doomed.

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  6. Too funny! This post is very timely...Hubby told me that he was bringing home the cookies he ordered after work today! I tell him to order the ones with coconut because then I won't be tempted to eat them.

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    1. I can't believe there is a kind of GS cookie that I wouldn't eat. There is something addictive in them, I swear.

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  7. I am waiting for the girl scout's myself. Except they always decide to show up when I don't have cash on hand. =(

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    1. They lay in wait around here outside grocery stores so you are hungry and have your pocketbook!

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  8. Girl Scouts are afraid to approach me these days.....maybe it's the horns that pop out at the sight of cookies, lol.

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    1. LOL - I bet they still find one brave girl willing to wave them in front of you and tell you throw down the cash and she'll slide the box over to you.

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  9. Oh my! Spam and Girl Scout cookies all in one post! This was fun to read! You make everything more fun, my friend! Hey...that's a good question! Dear Helen, How do you make everything more fun? heehee!

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    1. Oh, I may have to deal with that - how do you make life more fun. It will be mostly cocktail recipes!

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  10. love your blog! and i love vintage! your pics are awesome! they look like my house! i actually have a decoupaged bathroom wall with vintage tv shows. and i am a sucker for a girl scout cookie! so glad i found your blog! :)

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    1. I'm glad you found my blog too - we are vintage mad here so you will feel right at home.

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  11. Hello Helen:
    One possible suggestion is to move to a country where Girl Scout Cookies have never been heard of. Indeed 'Cookies' are unknown in the People's Republic!!

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    1. GASP! How does one move through one's day sans cookies? Oh, a bleak pallor has fallen over me. I will need to take two Tagalongs and return when I feel better.

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  12. Thin mints and Samoa's!!! Yum! I would gladly keep my ample booty to eat them. :)

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    1. Let's make tshirts - Ample booty courtesy of THIN mints!

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  13. I think I'm one of the few people on earth who can resist Girl Scout cookies....if I'm tied up, drugged and being waterboarded!!! :-) My husband can eat an entire sleeve in one sitting! Every time you post something about Spam, I just laugh and laugh and laugh. I can remember eating it for the first time and thinking my Mom MUST have accidentally opened a can of the dog's food!!! Hilarious post! Have a great week!!!

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    1. SPAM = UGH. My son saw all the ads and insisted he had to try it. He couldn't believe it would be bad, not the way they used to do so much with it! ONE BITE. He got one bite down - though I can't say if it stayed down.

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  14. Oh, I loved Girls Scout Cookies when I was in NY..here I save myself from eating that, as there are no GS's, lol..Your post is such fun and brought me so much memories of growing up in NY and my mom too..I mean with the Pam thing, and also the fashion, hahahaaa...cute fashion, all is back, let's not laugh!!! Thanks for coming to see my latest shopping stash! Big hugs,
    FABBY

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    1. I'd love it if some of these fashions would come back! I couldn't fit into them... esp after all these cookies!

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  15. ha ha ha bless you, you have a wicked sense of humour :-) dee x

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    1. I am wicked in other ways but I try to reign it in :)

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    2. Not only are YOU fabulous, Helen, but you attract the best readers. The comments are almost as good as your blog. Almost!

      Let's see, Hubby moved across the country, and is willing to suffer Hell on Earth temps in the summer just for lil' ol' me. Do I get him GS cookies? YOU BET! They'll bring a strong man to his knees. Hey, I wonder if I got a "Big Girl Scout" Uniform...

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  16. I rarely see Girl Scout cookies these days, maybe it's because I blank the wee lassies when they try their charms on me. One could try focusing on the uniform when it knocks on the door, say something like "get some style first girly", "come back when you've got your pole-dance-shoe-balancing badge" or "I dare you to shave your head first, then I'll buy a carton". I'm a very fair and balanced woman.

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    1. You're just giving them a chance to practice their salesmanship. Though I'm not sure I'd eat the cookies you receive after those interactions. Esp if they say they have to go back to the car to get the boxes.

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    2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

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  17. Replies
    1. I KNOW! They're not just for breakfast anymore!

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  19. Oh this post cracked me up!! But it has great advice, buy them and donate to the troops! Love it and love this blog!

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    1. Thanks! I'm practicing that word - DONATE - for this weekend when the girls are out at the stores.

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  20. Someone told me to freeze them so I wouldn't eat them all at once. Apparently that was a misnomer because they taste really good frozen... consider their ice cream. =0)

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