Dear Helen Hartman,
I confess, I am the jealous type. And no, it’s not my boyfriend that brings it out in me – it’s other women… that is other women’s lives. It seems like every one of my girlfriends has a better lot in life than me. Their kids are smarter, their husbands more attentive, jobs more fulfilling, finances more… financy!
So, in honor of St Patrick’s Day I’d love for you to share some advice on how to deal with the green eyed monster!
Dear Loved One,
Green eyed monster, huh? So I see you’ve met my trashy neighbor Teresa.
|Neighbors like mine make you want to take up a hobby. Backyard archery comes to mind.|
Oh, you mean envy. Helen doesn’t suffer from that particular ill… though she often causes it in others.
|Mom, why can't our lives be more like Helen Hartman's? This one chair for the three of us and fake palm tree just isn't cutting it anymore.|
Of course, I’m lying. Or as I like to call it, fictionalizing my not so fabulous life for fun and profit. Well, fun at least.
|Available on Kindle! No, this is not a cheap ploy for attention. It's a freebie ploy for attention.|
In the great game of life (not to be confused with the GAME of LIFE, which frankly is not all that great)
|It sounded so promising - a game where you can be surprised by twins. Well, here's the surprise, there are no actual twins. What's the point of that?|
We all have to play with the cards we are dealt.
|If you come to Helen's house you can use these to do that. Plastic card holders - or as they promise on the handle KARDHOLDERS! Will the fun ever stop?|
Comparing ourselves to others and finding we come up short rarely leads to a happy end. So do as Helen does.
|Carry a six pack of beer where ever you go?|
Befriend a few schlubs along the way. That way no matter how bad you feel you will always have someone to think about and say – EH, at least my life is not as bad as hers!
|Nothing like feeling superior to others to even out life's uphill climbs! At least I think she's feeling superior. Though looking at that maniacal smile, she might actually have run over who ever it was that made her feel bad about herself.|
The best news of all is you won’t have to look far to find the perfect collection of sad sacks and dumb Dora’s. They’re the same people you are looking at and thinking they have it so much better than you.
|Sure they look like they're having fun but in two minutes when Norm realizes Chet isn't just flirting with Darlene, he's also burning a hole in his forehead, all heck is gonna break loose.|
They say if you and all your friends took all your problems and threw them into a pile in the middle of the room and then each were allowed to pick one problem to go home with, we’d all take our own problems back.
|Orville really misunderstood the whole concept of a 'key party'.|
Don’t be jealous, be grateful. Things could be worse. You could be my neighbor Teresa.