Tuesday, April 9, 2013

You Have My Words (Warning: May contain actual good advice!)


Dear Helen Hartman,
I am what they used to call a type a personality and I am at the end of my rope. Stress should be my middle name. I try to keep my life (and those of my friends and employees) on track but nobody else sees the sense in my sensibilities.  Why can’t I communicate that I need people to cooperate because because I Have to?

 Dear Can You Spot the Missing Word in Your Plea One,
Where is the LOVE?

No, not where is the GLOVE. Clearly, that's in the Bronx with the Glove Masters.

Helen can help noticing that LOVE is missing from your question and from your attitude. Here is a secret Helen hesitates to share:

That you've forgotten where we hid the bodies?

Um, something bigger - because if everyone knew this they might need less advice! If you want to know what’s awry in your life, you don’t need to talk more about it, you need to listen. To yourself.

So small no one will ever know you're recording their every word - honestly. Who would suspect a thing from a man carrying a case where ever he goes. 

Let’s take a look: You say you are what ‘they’ used to call, you’re at the end of your rope and you’re becoming what you are feeling (Stressed).

First, don't let others define you. Come to Helen, and let HER do it! 

You are fabulous, of course. Your hair and shoes? Let's talk.

Here is something I have taught about writing for years: Whenever you write (or say) anything you are saying more about yourself than you are about your subject

If you are and you look like this, your disguise has just been blown. If not, get a disguise quickly, Helen suggests flannel plaid shirts and puffy dark hair, the marks of all good writers.

If you change your words, you have the power to change your life.

Some things to ponder. If your life were your blog, what words would fill your cloud tag? Checking Helen’s – Zombie Hostess, Bongo Watusi Society, @#$# Flamingos just to name a few. Honestly, if you never read a word of this blog except that cloud wouldn't you have a pretty good idea of who Helen is?

A woman who wears a tablecloth, keeps house so poorly that weeds grown in her living room and drinks champagne in the afternoon with imaginary friends?

When you say you are at the end of your rope you paint an image for yourself that hardly puts on in a position to accomplish much.

So many better things to do than hang by the end of that rope? Astound and terrorize your friends for example with your insane, um, let's call it whimsy - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

The words you use provide a frame for the life you are painting.  The bigger the frame, the larger the life.

My life is THIS BIG!

Ask yourself does this make my BUT look big? We’ve all had that moment when someone says I love you… BUT. But is a word wall. It creates instant conflict.

Word Walls are not always a bad thing, btw. Save them for moments like this. Honey, I love that you are trying to update your image BUT - TAKE OFF THE JERKIN AND ELASTIC PANTS or I will kick you in the 'unfinished bottom'. 

What if you replaced but with the word AND? I love you AND?

As in I love you AND I MEAN IT - STOP ORDERING CLOTHES FROM THE BACK OF MAGAZINES! 

Also remember - Only bread rises to its full potential by constantly kneading.
Yeah that was corny, even for Helen.

Stop whining about what you need and think more about what you can do. HAVE to? Make a swap. Tell yourself you GET to, it’s an opportunity, not an obligation.
 
So I HAVE to protect my eyes to today becomes I GET to look like a total dork today! 


A simple change of a few words can make such a difference.  So turn the negative talk off... COMPLETELY off, AND remember to turn up the love and see what happens!



Joining Wow Us Wednesday!

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29 comments:

  1. Excellent advice! Am going to put this into practice today. :)

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    1. Let me know if it works, I was doing fine until I crossed paths with a contrary customer!

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  2. LOL- I always smile out loud coming here to visit. As for that last device? I would like to order one to control my husband....xo Diana ps...the red dress? ummmm...I had one like that in the 60's...xo Diana

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    1. I bet you look tres chic in your red dress. Did you stand like that to show it off? Good luck with remote controlling hubbies - if you succeed you will be wildly rich.

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  3. I love you AND I GET to go knead some bread now...thanks for an inspirational morning, Helen - you ROCK!

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    1. Thanks - now I am wondering what kind of bread you are kneading!

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    2. Bread rising to it's full (and nice) potential for today! :-)

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  4. Today is my birthday, HelenHartman, and my husband is away on a business trip! What should I do?

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    1. CELEBRATE! Sorry your Hubby isn't there for your big day. In fact I feel so badly I will make the sacrifice and eat a cupcake in your honor! Hope your day is special.

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  5. Well, I love you, and I love me, and I love my ex.......okay maybe I won't go that far. :)
    Hugs,
    Laura

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    1. yeah, let's not get crazy, at least not unless there's a margarita involved.

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  6. Advice has never sounded nor felt so delightful! Thanks for the inspiration and the graphics!

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  7. You've just summed me up "A woman who wears a tablecloth, keeps house so poorly that weeds grown in her living room and drinks champagne in the afternoon with imaginary friends?" except can I substitute the imaginary with virtual? xxx

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    1. Do you pour a glass for your virtual friends? I think that counts!

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  8. I looked back at the title and I agree...very good advice indeed! KUDOS to you my friend!

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    1. Thanks. I have been working on it today - it's hard than you'd think, too easy to fall into old patterns.

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  9. I am shutting off the computer - this is my last read for the night. I was amused and inspired. Very creative use of old ads. I can sleep easier knowing you are out there protecting us from ourselves! I am now a follower. In a good way :>)

    P.S. My grandfather used to wear those jumpsuits.

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    1. Oh My! My Dad wore jumpsuits, too - but it was like his idea of fashionable coveralls :), he wore them when he worked in the garage. Thanks for coming by!

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  10. I always love coming here to see what Helen has to say next! Good advice and thanks for the smiles.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by - Helen is always saying something!

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  11. Oh, darling Helen....you always make my day! If I laughed any harder, the men in the white coats would be at my door! I LOVE the "forgot where we hid the bodies" one!!!!! LOVE it!!!!!!! As for that nightmare of a daisy dress, I would have actually loved that back in the day. I'm sure I would have thought it very glamorous. Thank the Lord I am WAY past that stage!!!!!!!!!! Have a great week!

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    1. I have worn my share of clothes I wouldn't want to see the light of day - maybe I can bury them with the bodies!

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  12. Wow! That tablecloth is a beautiful dress! If only I had it, and grass in my kitchen! I would be set. Thank you for always making me smile.

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    1. I have mud in my kitchen but maybe that's because I have 3 dogs.

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  13. I agree completely that it's possible to change your reaction to things by choosing the words in your self-talk...like "I get to" instead of "I have to." Also, a wise woman pointed out to me many, many years ago (when I was just as much of a control freak as your reader) that people don't really need me to run their lives. They have the right to succeed...or even to fail...on their own. She told me that when I was in the middle of a divorce and said, "I can't make him be a good husband, but I'm going to make him be a good father." She pointed out that even if I could make him do anything, I don't have the right to. His relationship with his daughter was between him and her. As it turned out, their relationship wasn't great when she was growing up, but it made her a stronger, better person. As an adult, she confronted him about it, with no advice from me, and now he's making a real effort to be part of her life and be a good grandfather to her two boys. Most of us do well to manage our own lives. We would be smart to concentrate on that and let others do the same. The world really didn't spin off its axis when I quit trying to control it. :)

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  14. Yes, Mam! I've been working very hard to turn that negative faucet off. I'm getting better at it, but dern, it's hard!!!

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  15. Loved the imagery of the kitchen...how do you do it!! :)

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  16. I own nothing made of stretch knit helenca, which is why my life is so grey. I like how the pattern on the man's helenca trousers is printed much larger and spare over the groinal area to make it appear larger. Clever! Why aren't these still a big hit? I want to be the woman in the yard wearing the tablecloth.
    Your advice is worth its weight in words. You are brilliant.

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