Dear Helen Hartman,
I am what they used to call a type a personality and I am at the end of my rope. Stress should be my middle name. I try to keep my life (and those of my friends and employees) on track but nobody else sees the sense in my sensibilities. Why can’t I communicate that I need people to cooperate because because I Have to?
Dear Can You Spot the Missing Word in Your Plea One,
Where is the LOVE?
|No, not where is the GLOVE. Clearly, that's in the Bronx with the Glove Masters.|
Helen can help noticing that LOVE is missing from your question and from your attitude. Here is a secret Helen hesitates to share:
|That you've forgotten where we hid the bodies?|
Um, something bigger - because if everyone knew this they might need less advice! If you want to know what’s awry in your life, you don’t need to talk more about it, you need to listen. To yourself.
|So small no one will ever know you're recording their every word - honestly. Who would suspect a thing from a man carrying a case where ever he goes.|
Let’s take a look: You say you are what ‘they’ used to call, you’re at the end of your rope and you’re becoming what you are feeling (Stressed).
First, don't let others define you. Come to Helen, and let HER do it!
|You are fabulous, of course. Your hair and shoes? Let's talk.|
Here is something I have taught about writing for years: Whenever you write (or say) anything you are saying more about yourself than you are about your subject.
|If you are and you look like this, your disguise has just been blown. If not, get a disguise quickly, Helen suggests flannel plaid shirts and puffy dark hair, the marks of all good writers.|
If you change your words, you have the power to change your life.
Some things to ponder. If your life were your blog, what words would fill your cloud tag? Checking Helen’s – Zombie Hostess, Bongo Watusi Society, @#$# Flamingos just to name a few. Honestly, if you never read a word of this blog except that cloud wouldn't you have a pretty good idea of who Helen is?
|A woman who wears a tablecloth, keeps house so poorly that weeds grown in her living room and drinks champagne in the afternoon with imaginary friends?|
When you say you are at the end of your rope you paint an image for yourself that hardly puts on in a position to accomplish much.
|So many better things to do than hang by the end of that rope? Astound and terrorize your friends for example with your insane, um, let's call it whimsy - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.|
The words you use provide a frame for the life you are painting. The bigger the frame, the larger the life.
|My life is THIS BIG!|
Ask yourself does this make my BUT look big? We’ve all had that moment when someone says I love you… BUT. But is a word wall. It creates instant conflict.
|Word Walls are not always a bad thing, btw. Save them for moments like this. Honey, I love that you are trying to update your image BUT - TAKE OFF THE JERKIN AND ELASTIC PANTS or I will kick you in the 'unfinished bottom'.|
What if you replaced but with the word AND? I love you AND?
|As in I love you AND I MEAN IT - STOP ORDERING CLOTHES FROM THE BACK OF MAGAZINES!|
Also remember - Only bread rises to its full potential by constantly kneading.
Yeah that was corny, even for Helen.
Stop whining about what you need and think more about what you can do. HAVE to? Make a swap. Tell yourself you GET to, it’s an opportunity, not an obligation.
A simple change of a few words can make such a difference. So turn the negative talk off... COMPLETELY off, AND remember to turn up the love and see what happens!