Dear Helen Hartman,
Love is in the air. I hate it. Can you tell its wedding season? I wish it was Bride season. There are a couple I’d like to hunt down, trap and set free into the wild, just to give those of us not getting married a little break from the nonstop wedding stuff. When did someone else’s wedding become everyone’s problem and how do I make it stop?
Dear Would Have Loved to say ‘I don’t’ One,
Make it stop? B-b-b-but love makes the world go ‘round!
|I love love love, Love, don't you?|
No wonder there are so many dizzy people!
Helen doesn’t understand wedding madness. Just heard the average wedding in the US runs $27,000. Yes, that’s the right amount of zeroes!
|I didn't pay that for my CAR and I still HAVE MY CAR. My wedding stuff? Um, I have one invitation, my dress and Hubby Hartman - the total worth of which is maybe a couple hundred bucks|
I’ve always been of the ‘it’s not the wedding that you need to focus on, it’s the marriage’ school of thought.
In fact, Hubby and I planned to elope until the intercession of my future bridesmaids in the wee hours of the morning at a local greasy spoon called The Wagon Wheel.
|The specialty at the Wagon Wheel was gravy fries. Lucky for you I couldn't find a picture of that!|
Look, can we be grown-ups here?
|Helen never said she was going to be a LADY, just a grown up. Also X appeal? What? It's a bra that makes people want to do algebra?|
Wedding or weeding, there are some people who turn everything into some big drama.
If you can’t or chose not to avoid them, develop coping skills. For example, take a page from that 1957 Journal and give the brides who are weighing down your days the PERFECT gift:
|So she'll always be sure of her weight and figure - and not to trust you with important tasks ever again.|
Remember the honeymoon won't last forever and you don't want to spoil a friendship and thereby miss out on hearing the story of the day she shoved her hubby's face in the cake as soon as it happens!